Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Dallas’ Mayor Wants To Punish His Fellow Citizens By Lobbying The NFL to Bring A Second, AFC, Team To Big D

There's two ways of looking at this-

1- Dallas' Mayor, Eric Johnson, knows that Jerry Jones sold his soul to the devil in the 90s in order to cement the Cowboy's as "America's Team". It worked too. Every kid without a team, front runner, or Lebron wannabe jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon. Everything was going according to plan until that meddling paper and packaging magnate from Brookline, Robert Kraft, came along and snatched that title away. 

So he either knows that that window opened and shut and the Cowboys are now sentenced to another generation of ineptitude and failure. (Because Jimmy Johnson is not walking through that door) 

Giphy Images.

So he realizes bringing an AFC team to the city will hopefully allow him and his grandchildren to see a Super Bowl parade in Dallas during his lifetime.

OR

2- Eric Johnson is a sadist of the highest order. He enjoys misery and seeing his fellow Texans get their hopes up sky-high every summer, finding ways to convince themselves that this is the year Dak and the boys put it all together. Only to have those dreams come crashing down in torturous fashion come December…

As the Alfred Pennyworth so eloquently put it, 

Giphy Images.

Personally, I think Mayor Johnson is just a mad man who maybe got a little excited on the bird and let things run away from him.

If we're being logical here, there is negative infinity chance the real guy behind the scenes pulling the strings of that puppet Goodell, Jerry Jones, would EVER allow this to happen. 

Does Texas really need a third football team? No. 

Could they sustain one? Probably yes.

Do the folks of Dallas deserve double the pain and torture? Not whatsoever. 

This isn't Toronto where the waiting list for tickets is 30 years to watch the Maple Leafs choke every year. (Who could easily allow another NHL team to flourish). 

This is Dallas

Also-

Talk about running before you can walk here huh Mr. Mayor? Let's focus on getting the one team that actually exists currently to the Super Bowl first shall we?

p.s. - Roger and co. throwing Jerry one last bone before he checks out