Beer and Clothing In Las Vegas: Russians, Boxing, and Black Jack

To start the next American Blogology, we will have to start before the beginning: In the Barstool office where I was approached by Large to do a last-second assignment. But that is far from where this story truly starts. If you have already consumed the run-up to Canelo vs. Bivol weekend, skip down to where in bold it says "Where it all begins" because it's some cool stuff. I have a machine-like story shoutout Kreischer. Stick with the blog through the tik toks. It gets good, but we just need to do things chronologically. 

It was in Indio, California where I met a guy called Dmitry Bivol with an accent like Borat, and a left Jab that kicked like a Mule. It was at that moment (that through the little experience I had), after hopping in the ring with the guy and doing pad work with him, I could tell this guy was definitely a professional. I was literally running around the ring and getting cut off, and I tried to keep him at a distance with a 6-inch reach advantage. Look, I was in the ring with him. I am just saying the obvious that the professional boxer was very, very good and, in my dumb confirmation-bias brain, I was like, "There's no way anyone can outbox this guy," never the less, he is someone who is 10 inches shorter than me and way less reach. I would 100% say that about Canelo if I was in the ring as well, but I just want to prove I always thought Bivol was going to show out against Canelo. Also, every small Jab Bivol made when I was in a padded suit felt like my 270lb sparring partner for Jose's Big right. It was nuts. 

After learning about Bivol's boxing ability first-fist, I got to experience who he was firsthand. He loves to cook; he's a dude that just likes to grill and shoot the shit. Surprisingly the guy has a sense of humor even in English. His favorite part of America is Quesadillas, and He likes to learn English a lot through Netflix and comedy specials. He is hilarious. Like, check out this timing. 

He knew my name the whole time, I swear. 

After all that, please check out the tik toks documenting the whole saga. 

Fight night was insane, and that is really where this whole saga starts

WHERE IT ALL BEGINS

I had finally finished shooting for Barstool in the corner all week, and it was time for me to enjoy Vegas before the fight. This was when the hot streak began.

Enter the Berserker Blackjack strategy

This is no joke. I turned $100 into $2000 dollars my whole weekend. I have proof.

It was insane. I have never been on such a hot streak. UPDATE I JUST HIT 21 in the ball machine on Pardon My Take. This hot streak is on a fucking roll!

I will be trying to continue my hot streak Wednesday at this=

nvm turns out Marty is going

Back to the fight, which I bet $200 +600 on Bivol. The first hype event was the weigh-in, where I met back up with Bivol's camp. Bivol's crew was so chill regarding the walkout to the stage. I hit up his trainer Taylor and asked if it would be ok for me to come with them. "As long as the ring is the same size as when we get there Saturday," the group was happy to have me, and I was happy to come.

My first thought after seeing Canelo's crew was this. 

After they weighed in, I couldn't stop thinking about this. I was like, this is something that could seriously impact Canelo. Also he was a bitchass Vegan, he wishes he could cook or eat steaks like Bivol. 

This is where clothing came into the Beer and Clothing name of this blog.

Big Cat ripped my only pants in a staged video I designed so that I could expense new pants because, as you could see, my jeans are falling apart they are like 5 years old, now I have new expensive more durable jeans I can expense to the company. 

FIGHT NIGHT

The day of the fight was awesome. DAZN got us awesome access and allowed us to see some of the preliminary fights where we were able to sit so close ringside. I literally got blood splattered on me from this fight that ended in a knockout. This guy was Bivol's sparring partner, who he used to prepare for Canelo. From Uzbekistan.

Here's his KO.

Chinese Heavyweight Big Bang Zhang also had a huge punch to start the main card. 

I then linked back up with Bivol's crew, and we headed back to the training room to chill before the fight.

I had spent a good amount of time with these dudes out in Indio. This wasn't that big of a deal (Jk, this was fucking sick). 

Fight walks are insane. I have been a part of 3 fight walks, mine, Chef Donny's, and Bivol's. I am 3-0 in fight walks.

I might just start simulating fight walks at pregames with the boys just to try to get somewhere close to the same rush. 

Bivol was not allowed to walk out to his anthem or his flag, for something he cannot control, so he repped his birthplace.

While they listed him as being from Indio, California.

The rest of the fight night was amazing. Between the Mexican crowd that had been drinking since Friday morning at the weigh-in chanting "Pendejo" which is hilarious because, after the fight, I had to explain what all the Spanish meant to him- he had no idea. The crowd was so pro Canelo, and he dealt with so much adversity. Bivol has always been a gracious and humble fighter. It has been amazing seeing how he has handled so much adversity for all he cannot control.

Now post-fight is where it got nuts.

And then I got the green light.

It was Demon Time.

Spoiler: Wild Bill did not activate 

*Spoiler to the spoiler: Wild Bill Did not activate that night…

 Bivol went back to the room with his team and spent the whole night in. He did not sleep. All he did was answer almost every message he received from friends and family. What I thought would be a crazy night turned into something extremely wholesome. I did take shots with his training crew.

He called all his people and did not leave the suite at the MGM Grand. His post-fight statements were all genuine, and he was actually sorry he had ruined Cinco De Mayo for the whole Mexican crowd, and he was actually sorry to DAZN and Matchroom boxing for ruining the plan for setting up a huge GGG-Canelo fight. He wasn't being smug or cocky, literally everyone knew that fight was designed for him to win. He spoilt it for everyone. He was genuinely sorry. He even said to me, "They sent you to me because they didn't think I would win, didn't they" I was like "Yeah I am 100% the B team"

Everyone thought after a fight like that. A world champion would go crazy and party. Its Vegas! He didn't. The next day I came back to his suite and set up an interview with Bivol for Pardon My Take. Youtube should start at the interview timestamp:

After this interview, my 7 am Sunday flight was delayed by a huge scary sandstorm. Seeing it from Bivol's suite high in the hotel we were in was nuts. The president of Kyrgyzstan (where he was born) reached out to congratulate Bivol; I asked if Putin had called him, to which he responded, "There's no cell service in the bunker!"(Putin wouldn't due to his stance). After the interview, I got news my flight had been once again delayed. Now let me tell you not to knock on Russians, but it is very hard to get a read on them. They all have the male equivalent of resting bitch faces. I really hope no one from Bivol's camp is trying to translate this reference into Russian because it would not translate well. I AM NOT SAYING ANYTHING BAD ABOUT RUSSIANS. THEY JUST LOOK PISSED ALL THE TIME.

Я НЕ ГОВОРЮ О РУССКИХ НИЧЕГО ПЛОХОГО. ОНИ ПРОСТО ВСЕ ВРЕМЯ ВЫГЛЯДЯТ ЗЛЫМИ

Except for Bivol. He smiled a lot and was easygoing, but he's not ethnically Russian. I told them the predicament I was in with the flight being delayed and how I checked out of my hotel, and if it was ok for me to stay longer to do some work on my laptop. They immediately said, of course, and asked me to stay for dinner. I didn't know if this was a cultural thing where I was supposed to say no, but they quickly insisted. Bivol ordered his favorite Quesadillas. 

After dinner, my flight got delayed yet again, and I had been sitting in the room listening to Russian and having no idea what was going on. I sat and nodded my head and just acted like I knew what they were saying till one made a joke and they all started laughing. I decided to laugh just because it was funny they were laughing. One of his team goes in English:

"How do you get that joke? You know old movies from USSR?"

"I said I have no idea what any of you have been saying this whole time." 

It was a great ice breaker. We then started to talk about language barriers, and they taught me Russian swear words, and I would say them, and they would laugh. Making Russians laugh is hard tho. Had to find things they would find funny but also translatable I'm not a stand-up comedian but this inspired me. You can understand how Kreischer's Machine story showed he had the skills. I probably won't do stand-up. 

And after talking to Bivol and his team about my Berserker Blackjack strategy, they wanted to go try it. It was hilarious. But first, The group had avoided any geopolitical talk till the date of May 8th came up, which is VE Day. A speech was made about how we were celebrating two victories, the beating the Germans, and Beating Canelo. We cheers'd and took shots. We started taking shots of Tequila because they just beat a Mexican. Then the older trainer, who is one of the hardest-looking men I have ever seen, said the first words I heard from him besides what he said to Bivol during pad work.

(In Russian, that was then translated to me)

"What did you learn in American school about WW2? Who do you think to beat the Germans?"

This was a pants-shitting moment. At this point, we had all gotten along and avoided any geopolitics, and I wouldn't want to do anything to tarnish the relationship. In one of the few times in my life, I carefully chose my words. 

"The U.S joined the conflict late after much fighting had already occurred, we beat the Japanese single handily, but the Germans could never be defeated without Russia."

"Он знает свою историю!" (you see the suspense when you don't know what is being said, imagine me) (I didn't understand it was positive till Bivol started laughing)

A satisfactory response and cleared up any tension in the room. I guess who did more to beat the Germans was a huge point of contention during the Cold War.

At this point, I kid you not, I described to the crowd how the mountain on a cold Coors light is blue, which made the crew light up with interest. Then everyone started drinking Coors light. At this point, Bivol had his only drink of the night 1 cold Coors light that he did not want me to take a picture of him with. Totally understand.

We then headed to the blackjack tables. I like to play at $5 tables I explained to Bivol and his team that the fancy hotel of a competing sportsbook was too expensive and not fun. Bivol put on sunglasses and a mask, and we headed out to a cheaper place with $5 tables across the street, this place also had $2 Coors Lights. The thing is, Bivol stuck out more with the glasses and mask, people could tell the guy wearing glasses and a mask at night was 100% trying to hide their identity. Glasses is one thing, a mask is another but both at the same time made it so when he got to the blackjack table, the whole security at this cheap casino showed up and thought he might have been a guy banned from the casino for counting cards or something. I kinda understand where the Casino was coming from because some of Bivol's crew is pretty similar looking to the actual MIT students in the 21 card counting movie. As the only English speaker there, I had to talk down to security as to why there was a man who obviously was trying to hide his identity trying to play cards. Quickly whipped out my phone and showed them the Bivol Canelo fight poster and all was well…

Until the Berserker BlackJack strategy came out.

I haven't seen such sober people laugh so hard. Every time I doubled down on 12s and the dealer was like WTF are you doing then winning the hand. Made them laugh their ass off. The dealer was getting pissed with me, but I was winning, and they kept laughing. I was splitting every pair I got, sometime splitting after splits and playing like 5 different bets at once. It was the greatest rush I ever got from gambling. Of the $100 dollars, I put down, at one point, I was up $200 but I wanted to stay to ensure the champ's good time wouldn't end. I ended up losing all of it after a couple of bad hands and a crazy split with two double downs to end it. Bivol looked at me and said:

 "Did you lose all your money in Vegas?" 

I replied

"No I didn't, Thanks to you."

After that, we walked back to the hotel, and his crew kept going "Double Down" and laughing every time. The crazy post-fight celebration for Bivol was 1 beer and a couple $5 hands. I said goodbye to my Russian friends and headed to the airport. The flight left at 11:59 pm, and I arrived back at 7 am and went into the office. A crazy week in Vegas. Got right after the sandstorm and made it to work for Macrodosing.