Lighten the Fuck Up! A Sudden Gust of Wind Revealed She Wasn't Wearing Panties...

Max Mumby/Indigo. Getty Images.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman took their wives to play a round of golf…

The Englishman’s wife stepped up to the tee first and as she bent over to place her ball, a sudden gust of wind blew up her skirt, revealing she wasn't wearing any panties. 

“Good God, my sweet pet! What evah's rong with you? Evy-one can see yur bloody arse ahn yur happy valley. Why aunt you weah-ing any ni-kuhz?”, her husband asked politely.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to uh-fawd em, luv…”

The Englishman immediately reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, Bonnie, hair’s $20. Go buy yourself some bloody ni-kuhz!"

Next, the Irishman’s wife bent over to place her ball on the tee and a gust of wind blew up her skirt revealing that she wasn't wearing any panties either. 

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph woman! You’ve no knickers! Ya look like a floozie makin' a holy show of yerself. What on errth arr ya doin'? Everyone can see yer arse 'n all yer oitharr bits.”

“Oiy can’t arfoid any on the moiney ya pravoid me, my darlin'…”, she retorted.

He immediately reached into his pocket and said, “Fer tha sake of decency woman, here’s $10. Go boiy yerself some cheap knickers, will ya…”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bent over to place her ball on the tee and a strong gust of wind suddenly blew up her skirt, revealing that she too, wasn't wearing any panties. 

“Sweet Marrree, Moother of Jesus, hen! Where are yerr draws? Everywoon can see yer bahoochie 'n yer kitty. For fuck's sake, arrr ya off yurrr trolley or somethin?”

She explained, “Ya didint give me enoof mooney ta be able ta affarrd any, my sweethearrt…”

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and replied, “Well, furr the loove ‘o Jesus, ere’s a coomb. At least tidy yerself up a bit, woomin…”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and riding motorcycles since 1972)                                                                           

Celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of "Lighten the Fuck Up!" by purchasing a stretch-fit cap or short-sleeve tee and send a message to the world…