Canucks Fan Threw A Hot Dog At Phil Kessel, Deserves To Take A Phil Clapper To The Nuts
The Vancouver Canucks are about to miss the playoffs for the 6th time in the past 7 seasons. In that same amount of time, Phil Kessel has been a 2x Stanley Cup Champion. So if there's one group of losers who should show Phil a little bit of respect, it's that joke of a fanbase. The same fanbase who destroyed their own city after losing the Stanley Cup in 2011. Just as a reminder, Phil Kessel has won 2 of those before. Which just so happens to be 2 more than the entire Vancouver Canucks organization have ever won since entering the league in 1970. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.
We all joke about Phil the Thrill gassing an unimaginable quantity of glizzies. Even the KessDawg has gotten in on the joke himself.
But this jabroni over here? Well he's the type of guy who thinks a hilarious prank is to murder your wife and children. You take a joke too far like that and hurl a perfectly fine glizzy in Phil's direction while the Coyotes are getting their dicks kicked in 7-1? You're a clown, bud. A certified dickhead. And you deserve to be publicly shamed for your actions.
Now if this clown was just a normal human being and did the right thing here by properly delivering the glizzy for Phil to inhale on the bench while the boys are getting pumped by the Canucks? Well then he'd be a hero. Then he'd be getting some signed sticks and maybe a few box suite tickets to the first Coyotes game in Arizona State's barn next year. But no. He had to be a dick, and now he must suffer the wrath. The Canucks need to find this fan, they need to tie him up to the net like Goldberg in The Mighty Ducks, and they need to let Phil Kessel step down from the top of the circles and launch a few Kess Bombs.
He may not be having his greatest season ever, but don't ever forget just how hard this man can bring it.
Phil Phorever.