The Bucs Owner Claims He and Tom Brady Didn't Discuss Brady's Unretirement Beforehand, Which is the Biggest Lie in the History of Lies

Mark Humphrey. Shutterstock Images.

Tom Brady's unretirement story, I'm trying to quit you. 

Sincerely, with all my heart, I'm trying to end the unhealthy relationship I have with Brady's job status in 2022, because it's not doing either one of us any good. From the botched announcement that was leaked by ESPN before Brady got to formally roll it out on his own Man in the Arena show, to all the credible reports that Brady had grown beyond frustrated with Bruce Arians' meddling in an offense he's never worked on and doesn't understand, to the role Brian Flores' lawsuit played in keeping him from owning a piece of the Dolphins:

… to the GOAT's subsequent "I've changed my mind," I want to move on. I want this story to move on. I've got a draft to prepare for. Brady presumably has a re-edit of the final episode of his biographical docuseries to finish and a season to get ready for. So I'd love to be done with this. But to accomplish that, I'm not about to sit here and accept blatant lies posing as truth. I'm not going to sit quietly while either side revises history when it's so painfully obvious how this all went down. Facts still matter in my world. 

So let's begin with Brady's appearance a couple of weeks ago at the Manchester United game in the UK. Man U is owned by the Glazer family who, not at all uncoincidentally, also own the Bucs. So their recently retired franchise quarterback just happened to fly across the Atlantic because he was compelled to watch a European soccer match. And while he was very, very much retired, Brady sounded anything but when he was within earshot of microphones:

 And Brady popped into the owners box, as one would, just to say hi. And then the very next day, announced he was in fact not done at all, but was coming back to Tampa. 

And here's what Bucs ownership has to say about that day in the UK:

So it was just a friendly visit. A chance to say howdy to the people who, until recently, signed the front of your paychecks. (Yeah, I'm he has direct deposit, but let me have my outdated metaphors.) The topic of Brady's interest in coming back never came up in all the fast-paced excitement of a soccer game with its constant shots on goal. No one asked what it would take for him to take a stab at another ring. And no one, but no one, made demands that he have more control over the team and the head coach stay the fuck out of his way and let him do everything his way, on the field and in terms of the roster. Nothing was asked, and no promises were made. 

I mean, that had to be the only conversation Brady had since the ESPN report that didn't involve someone asking what his plans were. What an incredible serendipity it was that his complete change of heart just sort of occurred immediately after. It defies all the odds. Still, it's the Buccaneers story and they're sticking to it. 

But that doesn't mean any of have to buy what they're selling. The only way any of this adds up is that Arians either is totally cucked this year, he "decides" to "retire" himself in order save face, or he gets outright fired at Brady's request. Regardless, there was a quid pro quo at that soccer game. And it involved luring Brady back with a guarantee of more control than any player has ever had in NFL history. No matter how much they lie about it.