The Toronto Maple Leafs Are Wearing Jerseys Designed By Justin Bieber This Year, Further Solidify They'll Never Win Another Cup Again
The Toronto Maple Leafs are an Original 6 team. They have one of the most iconic sweaters in the game. And they're going to go ahead and desecrate them by wearing a reversible jersey designed by Justin Bieber tomorrow night?
Dart Guy didn't rip through 3 packs of Marlboros a day for this bullshit. I wholeheartedly believe that we, as a society, should rebuke the Maple Leafs' status as an original 6 team for this nonsense. I mean what are we doing here, boys?
Little known fact--the Montreal Canadiens won the Stanley Cup in 1993. Justin Bieber was then born in March of 1994. The Vancouver Canucks would go on to lose the Stanley Cup Final to New York in 1994 and no Canadian based NHL team has ever won a Cup since the Habs in '93. Now I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a conspiracy guy. But I sure as shit fancy myself to be a facts guy. And the facts are saying right now that ever since Bieber was born, Canada has been cursed. At least as far as their NHL teams go. And with that being the case, how can the Toronto Maple Leafs be this reckless? In fact, I'm starting to think maybe it's not recklessness we're dealing with here. This seems tactical. Like a conscious effort made to further fuck that organization. Is Dubas a double agent? Is Auston Matthews trying to expedite his move to Arizona? I don't know how far up this decision goes but I'd imagine it's all the way at the top.
Anyway, here's to another year of the Maple Leafs' season ending in May. It just so happens that Bieber has concerts schedule at Scotiabank Arena on June 7th and 8th. Almost as if they knew the barn wouldn't be needed past the 2nd round of the playoffs. Hmmmmmmm.