Real Thing That Happened: Megan Thee Stallion Called Carl Crawford A “Pill Popping Powder Head” In The Latest Chapter Of Their Never-ending Saga

This is something I’m not sure enough people even realize to begin with, but former MLB All Star Carl Crawford discovered Megan Thee Stallion and signed her to her first record deal. Not just her first record deal, but the record deal she is still very much stuck in and has been feverishly attempting to escape for three years now. As any Red Sox fan will tell you, Carl Crawford does not sign contracts in which he does not come out on top.

Long story short: Meg signed with Crawford’s upstart record label, started gaining some traction online, became one of the biggest and most marketable stars in music entertainment and began being represented by Jay-Z’s Roc Nation. Roc Nation read Meg’s contract with Carl Crawford’s label 1501 and lightly recommended trying to renegotiate. Carl Crawford wasn’t having it, Meg sued, released a compilation album to fulfill the duties of the contract she signed when she was 20, and now - two years later - Crawford is counter-suing, alleging that the compilation album does not meet the requirements of her contract.

This is the standard music industry scumminess we all know and love. Crawford knows he has a star and doesn’t want to let her go, Meg knows she’s a star and wants less hands in her pockets. The American Dream if I’ve ever seen it.

I don’t know how this ends, mostly because I’m not a contract law expert, but I mostly really just want to sit for a moment and bask in the absurdity that is Carl Crawford’s life. One of the best high school athletes in Texas history, scholarships offered for each of the three major sports, opts to go directly into pro baseball where he was the only guy worth a shit in Tampa Bay for damn near a decade, and then he joined the Red Sox where his career essentially unceremoniously ended. And yet… that decision put his career earnings well over the nine-figure mark, which is what gave him the equity to build a record label in the first place. That bad contract directly led to Megan thee Stallion’s current day bad contract. Without the Red Sox is Meg locked in a 360 deal? It’s hard to say but it’s the most logical conclusion to draw from all this mess.

Chalk up another overwhelming piece of evidence for people convinced we live in The Simulation. It’s getting harder and harder to dispute.