Paige Spiranac and Two Other Instagram Golf Models are in a 3-Way Twitter Beef and We're Here for It

Maybe I'm just more evolved than your average guy, but as a strong ally to women, I like to think society has grown beyond our prurient interest in Girl Fights. Perhaps the occasional argument breaking out in the cafeteria might have made high school life tolerable, but we've no stomach for that drama today. Late night Cinemax movies about women's prisons where you always knew jumpsuits were going to be ripped open every 12-15 minutes are a relic of the past. A friend of mine who frequented such places back in the day once told me that Manhattan gay clubs would show tape loops of all the brawls between Joan Collins and Linda Evans on "Dynasty," which I guess was a regular feature of the show, but I wouldn't know because I spent the 80s watching "Cheers." (And late night Cinemax.) Seen through a modern lens, interest in such things is untoward. It is no longer toward. 

Still, there is Twitter. And when a social media superstar like Paige Spiranac gets involved in a verbal donnybrook involving other women in the growing field of Golf Instagram Modeling, it's not a lowest common denominator thing. The situation has the kind of universal appeal that comes from strong, empowered, independent women settling their differences using their words.

I've spent the better part of the day trying to form this into a coherent narrative. So let me see if I can present it as such. These athletes and you deserve nothing less. 

It began when Amanda Rose:

... Tweeted support for Tiger Woods induction into the Hall of Fame:

Which fellow golf/IG enthusiast Hailey Rae Ostrom:

… voice her objection to:

Ostrom, for her part, has a Tweet pinned to the top of her account expressing her support for sex as a fun activity, but that playing around can't compare to the simple joys of a playing a round. (See what I did there?):

Which Rose, in turn, took objection to:

And Ostrom did not take this one lying down:

Which brought Spiranac out of the locker room, up the aisle, through the ropes and into the ring:

Ostrom then replied that she couldn't see who she was fighting, thanks to a block by Spirianac:

While denying her father ever sent Spiranac a DM, because he couldn't:

But then? Game. On. The air filled with flying fists, roundhouse kicks and ringside folding chairs:

As far as I can tell (and I'm doing the research, trust me), no one has revealed any of these alleged DMs. And we may never live to hear them because, I'm sorry to report, the hostilities may be deescalating. 

Which is where we stand at the moment. At a cease fire, temporary or otherwise, as a peace settlement gets worked out. 

Unless, and this is a very real possibility, we're just getting played. That this is all just WWE-style bad blood to hype an event. And maybe these three will end up settling it on the course in a female version of The Match. In which case, count me in. Because these three (plus one) mic'd up battling it out with drivers, irons and the flat stick would be way more entertaining than Tom Brady vs. Aaron Rodgers. In that fight, like this Twitter feud, we'd all win.