MLB Owners Are Apparently Looking To Add A 4th Luxury Tax Penalty To Punish Baseball's Super Spenders (AKA The Cohen Tax) But Steve Cohen Has Already Let It Be Known He's Fine With It If It's Good For Baseball

h/t Mets new beat writer Jon Heyman

Look at Uncle Stevie doing whatever he can to bring America's Pastime back to the people and maybe even save the damn sport. What a man! What a leader! What a goddamn American hero!

I never thought I would live to see the owner of the New York Mets become the boogeyman for all the cheap bastards that are more focused on making a profit with their baseball team than making a World Series after years of being held hostage by the Wilpons. Yet here we are.

Not that these new rules are going to make a difference to Steve Cohen. No no no. Quite the opposite. I imagine Cohen told those broke boi loser owners running this lockout that they could make whatever little rules up they wanted to line their pockets with Stevie's hard earned money as he spends whatever is necessary to make the Mets a contender before giving them a wave with the back of his hand. Then I imagine Cohen is going to ask Billy Eppler to sort the list of available free agents by Overall like he's playing MLB: The Show then throw a whole bunch of Fuck You money into the laps of players the Mets want way more than they need.

Carlos Correa? Kris Bryant? Freddie Freeman? All of them? Why the fuck not? If I have learned anything about Steve Cohen since he gloriously came into my life two years ago, it's that the only thing he loves more than spending money is winning. So I imagine he'll hammer his hedge fund to produce a couple of extra bucks, hold off on buying $100 million statues for a little bit, then spend as many fun coupons as he deems necessary to not only turn the Mets into a World Series favorite but also let those cheap fucks know that nobody pushes around Bobby Axe.

I can't wait to talk about all this on the new Mets Twitter Community that just popped up, which essentially is a much easier way to dive into #MetsTwitter without all the other craziness on your timeline getting in the way.

NOW LET'S HAMMER OUT A GODDAMN DEAL SINCE THE BIG BAD WOLF IS FINE WITH HIS OWN PERSONAL TAX. THEN HIT HIS MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!