Charles Oakley Still Scares The Shit Out Of Me
Charles Oakley is on a book tour that included a stop at Barstool Chicago HQ and I'll be honest that's one of the more preposterous things I've ever said. But it's true. We interviewed Charles Oakley on Red Line Radio about his new (and first?) book The Last Enforcer, and through this experience I can confirm that Charles Oakley is still very much a terrifying human.
He is gigantic. He is serious. He is proud. I'm talking about a guy who would have thrown me through our studio table if I looked at him the wrong way or cut even the faintest of farts. I've never been more afraid to get beat up by a podcast guest in my entire life. And of course he could sense my fear. He feeds off that kind of power. It's Charles Oakley for chrissakes.
Thankfully things turned out okay. He didn't elbow me in the throat or otherwise send me to the hospital, and I think we got him to smile twice. Although both instances involved him talking about beating someone up. So maybe the lust is real. Maybe the only joy he truly knows is going hard in the paint in all aspects of life.
Whatever the case, Charles Oakley's still got it in every sense of the phrase. The chills are still running down my spine and that's after WSD brought in a chiropractor yesterday. He said why is your spine so cold? And I told him Charles Oakley looked me in the eyes less than 72 hours ago.
Turns out it was actually poor circulation. Too much glucose/cigs in the diet will do that but point still remains. Charles Oakley will scare the shit out of you.
As for the book, Kirk said it best on his 90's Knicks special edition podcast last week. Charles Oakley's book is basically 90+ stories of him telling different people to fuck off, and them subsequently fucking right off. According to the book, he has a 100% hit rate in this aspect. It's downright incredible and a very easy read. Check it out here and go listen to the podcast.