Tom Holland Thought Mark Wahlberg Was Trying To Fuck Him

Tom Holland is riding higher than anyone on the planet right now. He just found out that Spiderman is likely going to beat the all time domestic box office record. He's dating his childhood crush, Zendaya- arguably the most famous actress in Hollywood right now. He's roughly estimated to be worth $18 million at 25 years old. Why wouldn't he think Mark Wahlberg was trying to fuck him? 

The most shocking part of this story is the fact the gun Mark Wahlberg gifted Tom Holland was a massage gun. In my head, real life Mark Wahlberg is just an amalgamation of every character he's ever played: a guy with a gun who smokes weed with a teddy bear. I know that doesn't necessarily mean he loves guns off set. I'm just saying, if anyone is going to hand out a gun as a party favor it's probably the guy who wakes up at 2:30am and plays 9 holes of speed golf from 7:30-8:30am every day.

Imagine being Mark Wahlberg here. You have to go around on a press junket with Hollywood's current biggest star and sit back while all the questions go to him. You've been that center of attention plenty of times before. You let him enjoy it. You might even mentor him through it a bit. You have him over for dinner. You give him a nice massage gun to help him in his workout recovery. You definitely didn't think about recovery when you were his age. He'll be grateful. He thinks it's a vibrator? He thinks you are trying to fuck him? You? Mark fucking Wahlberg! People refer to every character you've ever played as "Mark Wahlberg in ______"! You know you gotta give him a reality check on this one so you wait until he's getting his ass kissed in an interview to take him down a peg.

You can see from the smirk on Mark's face at the beginning of the clip that he's been holding onto this one. I think it was all in good fun and I'm actually excited for this movie (Uncharted). We've come a long way with video game movies since Mario Bros and this is giving me big time Indiana Jones vibes. The plane scene does worry me that they're going to try to recreate video games a bit too much though.

PS - If you're leaving Mark Wahlberg's house and he hands you a gun, you take it. Chances are he's gonna take you with him to stop a terrorist attack.