WARNING: The Following Valentines Day Gift Ideas May Result In Lots Of Sex
ATTENTION LOVE BUGS! Yes, everyone's favorite Hallmark Holiday is upon us, Valentine's day. Growing up my parents and friends always did cute things for Valentines, silly gifts or cute chocolates and flowers to bring a little lovin' into the day. I think we put a lot of pressure on gifts, when really, all we (MEN) (and some women) need to learn, is that it's the thought that counts! Really! I'm not even kidding! My gift to you this year, is to take away the element of "having to think about something to get for the person you have been spending time with," and giving you ideas to keep you out of the doghouse.
1. Set The Mood
I didn't even know we sold a candle. AUTOMATIC purchase. Bitches love candles, and that's a fact documented by science. Imagine you're on the couch, after a nice meal or some fancy cocktails, and you light this baby up. Suddenly you're posted up in a couple of Adirondack chairs by the lake, smoochin' into the night.
2. Inspire Confidence
Just because your girl wants a little bit of frill on V-day, doesn't mean she isn't a bad bitch. Remind her that she's headed out every day to control the world, and she's Taking No Shit in the process.
3. Stunt On Your Friends
February sucks, but you know what's after February? March. You know what that's close to? SPRINGTIME. GOLF. HITTING THE LINKS. Don't you want a little flair for the course? Obviously. Are Transfusions the best drink to bring along with you? Absolutely.
4. Cuddle Up
Say it with me - CREWNECKS ARE THE TRUTH. Nothing better than a good crew, especially in maroon. A little more class than a hoodie, equally comfortable, cool embroidery. Oh, whoops! Here's a photo of me modeling this crewneck! How'd that get in here!
5. SEDUCE
I told you these gifts would get you laid. BE PREPARED! Why whisper into her ear when your boxer briefs can say it all? Briefs are the hotness. They always look good, they make your dick look good, and everyone loves some sexy undies. Just remember to pick them up off of the floor in the morning, or else they might get stolen from you.
BONUS GIFT - Literally Anything From The Would Line
We're all gettin' Would on Valentine's day, and you better make sure you're cleaned up and smelling right. Don't you want to leave something lingering on her sheets that she actually likes? Personally I think the Fresh Tracks smells are completely intoxicating. Nothing like a good smell to bring back those sexy memories.
Happy shopping! If you order any of these by February 2nd, they should arrive in time for the big day. Get your blood pumping and blow the roof off of the place this year.