Bad News For The NFC East: Joe Schoen Showed Up To Work Today

I hope everyone had their fun mocking the Giants for being the laughingstock of the NFL during the nightmarish Dave Gettleman Era got all their jokes in because Handsome Joe Schoen arrived before everyone in the building (except for the social media guy with the perfect angle to avoid showing Joe's license plate number but also having enough room for the United Airlines watermark) ready to kick ass. Meanwhile, Stephen Jones is probably wiping his dad's ass, Howie Roseman is trying to piece together a Super Bowl on a spreadsheet, and the Washington Football Team is probably doing some sort of stupid shit Nate will have to blog about.

I know Bears fans will say that their new GM showed up even earlier today considering this was posted at 6:38 Central Time.

But let's be honest, arriving for your first day on the job when it's still dark out is a total hardo move as is driving a fancy car with light up door handles. Salt of the Earth people like the fellas in Barstool Chicago can't like that and would much rather have a guy that drives a matte black Wrangler with what I imagine is a bag full of the heads of his enemies before he crosses some T's, dots some low case j's, and gets ready to hire the fuck out of a head coach 1000 times out of 1000. Oh yeah and Joe Schoen doesn't wear a jacket in the winter because jackets are for pussies.

All aboard the Schoen Train motherfuckers!!!

Blogger's Note/Confession: Yes the whole point of this blog was to point out how absolutely preposterous it is that teams are showing hype videos of their GMs showing up to work in the morning. The NFL is so far ahead of the rest of the sports in this country it's comical and the fact baseball's two biggest stories right now are the players being locked out by billionaire owners and the greatest player I've ever seen not making the Hall of Fame while football fans eat up their middle aged executives enter the building for a day of work is all you need to know about where these two leagues stand right now.