BREAKING: A Truck Carrying Roughly ONE HUNDRED Monkeys Was Involved In A Crash In Pennsylvania; Four Monkeys Remain On The Loose

I don’t know what body of government is in charge of regulating monkey transport, but I’m here to say here and now that 100 monkeys in a given truck is simply too many. Think of the shenanigans those fellas were planning during transit. I would be 0% shocked to find out they caused this crash in an attempt to spark a jailbreak. Sure, only four got free… this time. But seeing as they’re still lurking in the central PA wilderness, there’s no tellin’ what they’ve got up their sleeves moving forward. If we don’t have all hands on deck locking eyes on those other 96 monkeys you might as well kiss them goodbye as well. They’re as good as free. The state of Pennsylvania is under new rule far as I’m concerned. Today marks a new dawn. The day man lost its edge over our primate cousin. All Wawa sandwiches are now just a banana inside two slices of banana bread. Movie franchises have been built around less.