Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Episode 38Watch Now
Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

Some Silly Ass Eagles Fan Got Choked The Fuck Out By A Michael Jackson Impersonator He Decided To Mess With For Some Ungodly Reason

So THAT'S why Eagles fans usually do the bulk of their fighting by launching projectiles from afar like the archers of NFL fanbases. That fight was about as unfair a matchup as Bucs-Eagles was on Saturday with decision-making on par with the Eagles targeting DeVonta Smith 0 times in the first half.

It doesn't matter which city you are in. Under no circumstances should you ever pick a fight with a street performer. It could be a Michael Jackson impersonator in Vegas, someone in an Elmo in Times Square, or one of those silver statue people in LA. If you decide to scrap with someone hustling like that to make a living, you should be ready to get your ass kicked. How they will kick your ass will vary by location as well. That Elmo will probably pull a box cutter on you, the statue guy will have four other of his statue brethren jump you, and the Michael Jackson impersonator will put you in a chokehold more technically impressive than anything Bob Fox has ever blogged on Barstool.

So if you see this MJ impersonator Moonwalking on the Strip, let him dance, cheer him on as he unleashes a couple of Shamones, and maybe throw a tip his way for great service along with teaching this Philly fan a valuable lesson that he clearly didn't learn from reading his shirt.

P.S. That was an all-time masterclass in hashtagging by Marcus Deegan. A couple of local Vegas news outlets, a couple of combat sport organizations, and The King of Pop himself beyond the grave.