After Today, Blackberry Phones Will Cease To Exist For The Rest Of Time

RIP Blackberry....? Were they not already dead? Do you know a single person on earth with a Blackberry anymore? To be clear, I loved my Blackberry (in 2010.) It was the shit. BBM? The original "has he seen my message and is he ignoring me while talking to other whores on BBM?" Even though that chapter has been closed in my brain for a decade, it's sad to think that I will never get to feel the anxiety of being ignored for someone else again. Oh, wait, iPhones can do that with read receipts. Nevermind! Well, I guess I'll really miss the full keyboard, T9 Word always took a long time even though I got really good at texting with no eyes under my desk...oh, wait, iPhones also have a full keyboard, and there will never be another scenario where I have to text in secret? I'm a grown woman? I have my phone in my hand while I type this blog. Is a teacher going to come take it away? Is Dave suddenly going to make this a no-cell-phones zone? Hmmm. What else....oh, surely we'll miss the HUGE screen. So much bigger than the flip phones...oh, wait, I don't have a flip phone anymore? I have a phone that's the size of a fucking movie screen on my iPhone? Right, right. 

I guess what I'm trying to say here is….who gives a fuck? Who, in the year 2022, gives a single fuck about Blackberries anymore. Come forward. I genuinely want to know. I need to know why the Bloomberg website/twitter account feels so strongly about this "monumental end" that we're talking about it today. That I'm blogging about it today. That I've spend nearly 25 minutes trying to dig into the depths of my alcohol soaked brain to try and find one single memory from college about my Blackberry that has even slightly molded me into the person I am today. Lets keep this one in the ground, considering we buried it 10 years ago.