A Teacher Who Fell Asleep During a Faculty Meeting Claimed Narcolepsy...

When I first became a Plumbing Instructor in 2005, I looked forward to faculty meetings. They were some of the only all-adult meetings we as teachers participated in, most meetings involved students. Faculty meetings were usually held after school and because of the language in the union contract, the administrators couldn't go one second past 3:00 and there were union members who would immediately file a grievance if they did.

I attended my first faculty meeting in 2005 and it came a day before the students arrived at the beginning of the school year. I remember the Superintendent and Principal saying all these wonderful things about the school, the teachers, and the students. They were very positive about the upcoming school year and everything they said reinforced my decision to leave the trade for a career in vocational education. I exited the auditorium very excited to be part of the staff…

As I walked down the hallway and headed back to the plumbing shop, one of the teachers I knew saw my overly enthusiastic smile and the energetic bounce I had in my step and took off after me. He caught up and started telling me that in his 30 years of teaching, first-day promises and compliments were nothing but hype. Then he said something I'll never forget, "They stir the soup Vinnie, but they never serve it. Don't get too excited…"

What an incredible buzz kill but it was actually a reality check and after that, I listened to school administrators with a grain of salt. After spending 15 years teaching, he was right, first day promises and the many that followed, were mostly hype aimed at boosting morale and productivity…

Faculty meetings were mandatory and although they didn't take attendance, there was always someone there who would know if you skipped one. I always did my best to get to the meetings on time, you didn't want to enter an auditorium after the meeting already started because everyone would see you and it could get you in a lot of trouble with your supervisor or worse, the principal.

There was only one thing worse than skipping a meeting or showing up late and that was falling asleep during one. They would dim the lights when the meeting started, sometimes to show a PowerPoint, and when you combined the darkened room with a well-cushioned chair and a boring, monotone speaker, nodding off even for a few minutes, was really easy. 

As a vocational instructor, I was up early and on my feet all day, working non-stop with the kids and the tools. It didn't hit me until after the final bell and the kids were gone. It reminded me of being in a nightclub partying when suddenly the music stopped. It all catches up with you at that moment. I fell asleep at my desk after school more than once. Teaching is exhausting work…

AlexBrylov. Getty Images.

I almost nodded off at many faculty meetings; eyes closed, chin falling in increments and ending up just millimeters away from collapsing onto my chest before I caught myself. Then I'd sit up straighter, clear my eyes, and do my best to stay awake, which on some afternoons while listening to certain administrators speak, was very challenging. There was one assistant principal at my last school who was a great guy but his speaking style was boring and monotone and he could put anyone to sleep. It was like a verbal "sleeper hold" and I  used to joke that his superpower was his unique ability to cure insomnia without the use of any drugs. 

During faculty meetings I regularly looked around the auditorium at other teachers, watching some of them start to nod off and then catch themselves before they fell into a deep slumber, potentially one that included loud snoring. Everyone knew if you fell asleep and an administrator saw you, or worse, heard you snoring, you'd be in a lot of trouble, and the next day you'd be in the principal's office explaining yourself. A teacher, especially a new teacher without professional status, could be fired for sleeping through a faculty meeting.

After I left that school another plumber took my position. Years later I worked nights and Saturdays with him at a proprietary school where we told stories about our experiences as teachers and this guy had some real doozies…

At one faculty meeting, he fell asleep and started snoring very loud. The principal called him in the next morning and was ready to fire him when the teacher looked the principal in the eye and with a straight face, told him he suffered from narcolepsy… The Principal realized that if he did in fact suffer from the sleeping disorder, firing him could lead to a hefty lawsuit. The principal told him he had five days to produce a doctor's note documenting his medical condition. To his credit, the teacher didn't blink and he assured the principal he would be able to provide him with a doctor's note by the end of the week.

He went home, called his dad, and explained the situation and his dire need for a doctor's note. He knew his dad worked as a plumber for quite a few doctors and he was confident he could get him a signed note documenting his claim of narcolepsy.

Once he had a signed note on an MD's letterhead, he presented it to the principal. After looking it over, the principal nodded his head in approval. The doctor's note looked legit and definitely appeared to validate the teacher's claim of narcolepsy.

When he finished telling me the story the teacher laughed and boasted, "Now, I can fall asleep anywhere in the school and there's nothing they can do about it…" It was such a George Costanza-like thing to say…

He had gotten away with sleeping and snoring his way through a faculty meeting but the incident put him on the administrative radar and less than a year later he was fired for a completely different reason, but not really… 

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." - Abe Lincoln