Evan Fournier Sucked The Last Two Games Because He Got Food Poisoning From A Terrible Steak In San Antonio
Listen, getting bubble guts is not fun. The fear of shitting yourself and just peeing out your ass is a brutal thing to have let alone when you're trying to play a basketball game. Now my problem here is that it came from a steak. I don't know if I've heard of food poisoning from a steak before. Undercooked burgers? Sure. Also we're in San Antonio here. Get some Tex-Mex and that'll give you some stomach issues. Maybe get something a little too spicy or some meat that sat out a little too long. I mean I still love Tex-Mex and I will eat that all the time, but that's more believable than a bad steak. Smart move not to throw the restaurant under the bus too. There's a 100% chance it's a nice, expensive place. Can't have the reputation of giving an NBA player food poisoning and that being the reason he scored 7 points, two games in a row.
There's nothing like a good steak too. Get that perfectly cooked steak (medium-rare, more on the rare side) with some melted blue cheese to get that crust. Delicious. But this is about my conspiracy theory here. Jordan got allegedly had food poisoning in Utah for the flu game. San Antonio needed a win. Knicks followed that up with Indiana. There's one person I blame here.
I'm not putting it past Reggie. He'd do anything to fuck over the Knicks. We saw him fire up James Harden the last time they played the Nets. He pushed off on Greg Anthony and got away with it. He probably slipped the ref something there too. The guy is a snake through and through. He saw the Knicks coming together and knowing they needed to beat Indiana.
Do me a favor though Evan. Don't order steak again. The moment you get food poisoning that just sticks with you. I can't have you risk it. Get something different from here on out. Switch up the juju because we need you out there. We need you to be able to hit shots and play like you did the first week of the year. Can't be worried about shitting yourself when we have Toronto, Milwaukee and the Warriors coming up.