An Olympic Qualification Curling Broadcast Was Cancelled Mid-Tournament Because Of Sex Toy Ads On The Ice
picture alliance. Getty Images.WaPo - A Dutch sex toy company’s attempt to reach fans of the wholesome sport of curling led some broadcasters to cancel their livestream of a tournament that will determine the final spots in the Beijing Olympics.
Local organizers of the Olympic Qualification Event in the Netherlands said they were told that on-ice ads with the EasyToys name and nonexplicit logo were too much for the U.S. audience. Dutch media reported that the livestream was also canceled in Japan.
“I’m not the right man to have an opinion what is normal in which country,” promoter Dagmar van Stiphout told The Associated Press. “I think they’re also surprised, but it’s best to ask them.”
It's long past due that we make curling sexy again. This is a sport which is for the common man, by the common man. The type of sport you can win an Olympic gold medal in while crushing an entire pizza pie to yourself and gassing a few mid-game beers. Heck, there was a team at the Red Deer Curling Classic in Alberta a few years ago who got kicked out of the tournament right before the final for being a little too drunk. Classic Rick from Red Deer. But those are my kind of people.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like just anybody can get out there and gas a 6 pack of Labatt Blue and win a gold medal. It takes years of perfecting the craft of curling. But you don't have to be some freak physical specimen to become elite at the sport. You can be the guy who orders the fries instead of the salad. You can be the guy who gets the IPA instead of a vodka water. You can be the guy works out for a couple weeks after New Years but then your gym membership just becomes a monthly donation after that. Because curling is for the common man. And what is the common man more than anything else?
Horny.
The common man is criminally horny all the time. So horny that their stomachs hurt.
When you think about it, a sex toy sponsorship is a match made in heaven for a curling tournament. No pun intended, it's a perfect fit. Which is why I'm so fucking confused about why the broadcast was ended over the EasyToys ads being on the ice. Buncha virgins if you ask me.
It seems like maybe curling just needs a new home. The sport for the common man, by the common man, should be broadcasted by the common man. If I'm the World Curling Federation, I'm handing the bag over to Barstool Sports [dot] com and handing an additional bag over to a lowly hockey/lacrosse/bbq blogger to become the official voice of curling moving forward. Just something to think about.