Kim Jong-Un Has Reportedly Banned North Koreans From Wearing Leather Trench Coats Because He Doesn't Want Anyone Stealing His Look

KCNA. Shutterstock Images.

RFA- Authorities in North Korea are cracking down on residents wearing leather trench coats, saying that it is disrespectful to emulate the fashion choices of the country’s leader Kim Jong Un, sources in the country told RFA. Leather trench coats became popular in 2019 after Kim appeared on TV wearing one. At first, real leather coats imported from China were snapped up by rich people who could afford them, but soon garment makers began to import fake leather to make them domestically.

Soon almost every North Korean marketplace was selling them and many young men could be seen sporting faux leather slickers of their own. To put a stop to the cheap imitations, and the cheap imitators who wear them, literal fashion police patrol the streets to confiscate the jackets from sellers and citizens sporting the look.

Say what you want about Kim Jong Un. He may be a piece of shit dictator with a funky haircut that deserves to roast in a jet fuel fire hell for the rest of eternity for what he has done to the people in his country and is a constant threat to the well-being of millions if not billions of people. But he's not a dummy.

There is no better feeling in the world than pulling off a unique fit. Becoming the leather trench coat guy will add swagger to anyone's strut, even someone that has the entire country in the palm of his tiny man hands that he occasionally crushes with his mini sausage fingers. However, there is no worse feeling than someone new coming along and taking your look right from under your nose. You can't have the people you have robbed of everything show you up by taking your own look. I never throw the G word around but I GUARANTEE that little fuckface is going to block the new Matrix movie from playing in North Korea because he knows Neo is going to be rocking an incredible leather trench coat from the future that makes lil' Kimmy's finest jacket look like some bootleg from Canal Street. No country should be robbed of freedom, happiness, or the right to see Keanu Reeves act his ass off in a blockbuster film.

To any Stoolies reading this in North Korea that lost their leather jackets, may I kindly suggest shopping the Barstool Store today since almost everything is 20% off for Black Friday. I'm not sure if it's Friday there, but it is here, which I think is all that matters. I'm  alsonot sure if we actually deliver to North Korea, but I'm sure Portnoy will send Welker's ass over there on Christmas Eve if he has to in order to get these orders fulfilled. 

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