A Twitter Dullard Wrote "Woke Indiana Jones" And It's So Terrible That It's Almost Brilliant

The great AND tragic thing about twitter is that anybody can log in and say anything they want. In this case, this guy chose to completely misunderstand everything there is to know about Indiana Jones, reimagining one of the most beloved movie characters in his own version ripe with performative wokeness.

This weeping beardo's vision couldn't end with this tweet, obviously. It went on for what felt like a 500 tweet thread that ended with the gender flipped Indiana Jones apologizing to villagers for her ancestors taking their artifacts for a museum. You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite parts from Shane Gillis' standup special(which is hysterical, by the way).

In case you can watch, the point he makes is that slavery movies are for nobody. No general audience from any race actually wants them, but Hollywood can't get enough of making them. Similarly, the movie as described by our crying twitter friend, is for nobody. Indiana Jones fans don't want that, casual movie fans don't want that, and the performatively woke people like himself wouldn't go out to see it. And the sad thing is that, if a Hollywood exec read that thread, they would probably get the wheels rolling on it. 

By the way, if the crybaby had actually watched the second Indy, he would know that Indy literally returned mythical stone artifact that was the focus of the movie to the village it belonged to. Did he keep the Ark of the Covenant? The Holy Grail? No. All the guy did was get beat up and kill a fuck ton of Nazis. Take the performative crying and save it for a different character.