Someone Has Been Eating Exclusively On Six Flags' $150 A Year Meal Plan For The Last SEVEN YEARS

NY Post- Talk about a meal ticket.  Hungry for financial flexibility, a California man named Dylan shelled out a measly $150 a year to eat every meal at Six Flags Magic Mountain in order to save thousands, pay off his student loan debt, get married and purchase a house in Los Angeles. 

“You can pay around $150 for unlimited, year-round access to Six Flags, which includes parking and two meals a day,” Dylan, 33, explained to Mel Magazine Monday. “If you time it right, you could eat both lunch and dinner there every day.” And in 2014, when Dylan learned of the cost-effective food frenzy being offered just minutes away from his internship in Valencia, California, he boogied on down to the amusement park with moves faster than Six Flags’ dancing old man mascot.

“One of my co-workers said she spent $1,500 a month on eating out. I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m not going down that road!,’ ” said Dylan, who works as an electrical engineer. He’s eaten an estimated 2,000 meals at around 50 cents per sitting at Six Flags for the past seven years. 

Oh. My. God. This article in the NY Post was simply the gift that kept on giving. It kept on getting better and better and better and better as it went on. That was practically the Departed of articles. First they hit you with a big headline about this fella named Dylan who paid off his student loans by eating every meal at Six Flags. I say to myself sounds interesting so let's give it a read because I've been known to enjoy both food & Six Flags amusement parks. THEN the first thing it says is how he paid off his student loans, got married, AND got a house in friggen Los Angeles because of this deal. 

And that very deal is $150 a year for 2 meals a day! Not horrible if you maybe do that for one year like Dylan first did when he was working as an intern nearby his local Six Flags. That's fair. That's doable. Yet It's later finally revealed that this man has been eating on this Six Flags meal plan for 7 years. SEVEN FUCKING YEARS! 7!!!!! Imagine eating solely amusement park food from the time you're a high school freshman to when you're a junior in college. That's truly inconceivable for someone that loves gross food as much as me since I really can't imagine there's all too many healthy options at a Six Flags park. I think Six Flags I think more of that as a place that deep fries butter only to later name it after Buggs Bunny to the abundance of B's.

“The first year, the menu was kind of lame — all you could get was a burger and fries, or a pizza and breadsticks, or this pathetic sandwich and a refillable soda cup,” he said. “It wasn’t healthy at all, which was rough.”

The premium dining pass also includes typical funfair snack treats like ice cream, funnel cakes and cookies. 

“That’s where it got dangerous,” Dylan admitted. “Separate from the meal, you could get Dippin’ Dots, sundaes, churros, pretzels — all that type of stuff. That’s when I started adding weight.” 

But hey! At least some days Dylan CAN GET the tri-tip sandwich or meatless meatball sub (I totally didn't just gag typing that out)

But, much to Dylan’s digestive delight, Six Flags began introducing healthier delicacies to its menu. 

“They’ve got decent options now,” the cheap-eating enthusiast explained. “Still a lot of bad food, I mean it’s theme park food so you can’t expect too much from them. But you find the options that aren’t terrible — stuff like tri-tip sandwiches and vegan options like black bean burgers and meatless meatball subs.” 

And in effort to eat lighter and burn calories, he’ll often take the 5,000-step trip from the Six Flags parking lot to its Hurricane Harbor water park division in order to grab a carne asada or chipotle chicken salad.  

But Dylan — who’s also chowed down the play park’s seasonal entrees like the “Thanksgiving Dog,” which he says is a “turkey dog topped with cranberry sauce, stuffing and a slathering of mayonnaise, which I know sounds awful, but it was so good” — regrettably has to settle for the entertainment venue’s deep fried, bacon and nacho cheese-smothered chicken balls on busy days. 

At the end of the day though…to each their own. After all Dylan's got a wife, a house, and no student loans! Maybe he's playing chess while we're all playing checkers?