"The League" - Tinder For Rich People - Throws A Party In Montauk And Its Exactly What You'd Expect

Business Insider – The League, a selective dating app for successful people, launched in San Francisco earlier this year, and a few months ago it launched in New York City. Stanford graduate Amanda Bradford founded The League and raised $2.1 million to match up highly motivated and interesting single professionals. On July 31, The League held a party out in Montauk, exclusively for its selective group of New York users. Actress Mischa Barton was among the party’s attendees. We tagged along to check out The League and its pool of elite users to see what all the fuss was about.

So let me get this right. There was a party. In the Hamptons. With a bunch of bougie white people?

STOP THE PRESSES!

I guess thats the thing though. Theres arent just normal bougie white people. Not white bougie-peasants like myself who can just stroll up to a Hamptons bar. This is the whitest of white. The bougiest of bougie. Invite only. This algorithm scans you and decides “Yup – you are paler than cream cheese, your bank account has a handful of zeros, and your bloodlines are mixed up with the Kennedy’s somewhere – you can come in!”

Now naturally this party had to fucking suck. I cant imagine how boring it is to listen to a thousand finance bros talk like they are Warren Buffet and a bunch of self important chicks talking about whatever it is they talk about. But goddamit I wanna be in this party. Feel like a poor not being apart of The League. I thought about trying to sign up to see if I would be accepted but the first thing it does is use your Linked In to decide on you. I dont even have a Linked In. Fucking failed step one. Boom. You’re poor, Kevin. You dont even have the service that allows us to determine if you’re poor. Double poor.

Whatever. Fuck you guys! I dont need The League! I dont need their fancy party at Surf Lodge! I’ll be down the street with all the other Poorest Rich People On Earth at Sloppy Tuna.