I Am Woke On This Pre-Historic Alligator That Has Oddly Been Caught In Fucking Kansas Of All Places

NY Post- A massive alligator gar has been caught in Kansas for the first time in state history — and puzzled biologists are probing how it got there in the first place, wildlife officials said.

The 4.5-foot, 39.5-pound gar — often referred to as a “living fossil fish” because its lineage dates back nearly 100 million years — was pulled from the Neosho River last month by angler Danny Lee “Butch” Smith, Kansas Wildlife and Parks officials revealed this week.

It marks the first time that an alligator gar has been found in Kansas, the officials said.

Sooooo we got living aquatic dinosaurs in fucking KANSAS of all places now? I think of Kansas and the only things that come to mind are George Brett (I'm aware Kansas City is in Missouri but there's one in Kansas too so f off), Perry Ellis, and the Wizard of Oz. That's literally it. None of those things have anything to do with aquatic facilities nonetheless an actual living, breathing pre-historic swimming alligator. Hell- I didn't even know they had water in Kansas. I kind've assumed that's what they trade all their corn and shit for. Ya know a coastal state needs corn and Kansas needs water...sounds like a fair trade.

And not to mention just how the hell did this thing get to Kansas?!? Kansas!!!! This occurence is quite literally the first time an alligator gar has EVER ben found in the great state of Kansas. I expect some funny business from some sort of higher power because there is simply no other explanation. The article says it's possible that a local aquarium set it free into a river after it grew too large for the aquarium, but I'm gonna say that's impossible though due to the assumption that local aquariums in Kansas aren't the biggest tourist attraction so if you're a Kansas aquarium that's blessed with a 100-million year-old species of alligator you are gonna KEEP that very alligator. 

You'd better make a whole god damn exhibit for that guy if that's the case. So I'm saying there's no way that's what happened here. Dinosaurs are just back apparently. No other way around it.