Meghan Trainor and Her Husband Share Side-by-Side Toilets
Marriage, above all else - if I remember my wedding vows, all those Pre Cana classes the Church made us take, and every episode of "Mad About You" correctly, (and I remember none of these things) - is about sharing. About opening up your life to another and letting that person into every aspect of your existence. Your thoughts. Your emotions. Your dreams. Your body. And, in one celebrity marriage, your bowels.
Source - Meghan Trainor and her husband, Daryl Sabara, have taken intimacy to a whole new level, revealing that they had toilets installed next to each other so they can go to the bathroom at the same time.
“We just got a new house, and we did construction,” Trainor, 27, said on the “Why Won’t You Date Me?” podcast Friday. “Nobody knows this, but in our bathroom, there was one toilet, and a lot of time in the middle of the night when we’re with the baby, we’ve got to pee at the same time. So I was like, ‘Can we please have two toilets next to each other?’”
The “All About That Bass” singer admitted her contractor initially thought she was joking, but he ended up agreeing to the abnormal request and added a new toilet beside the already existing one.
“We got two toilets sitting next to each other, and we’ve only pooped together twice,” she said, adding, “We pee at the same time a lot.”
Celebrities: They're Just Like You and Me! Amirite?
No, I'm not right. Maybe they're just like you. But for sure, this particular celeb couple is better than me. Until now. I thought I was on solid ground after 28 years of marriage with no major blowups. No counseling. Two happy, well adjusted sons in college. But no. I've been living a lie. It's all a sham.
We are what is know in my world as Three-Toilet Irish. But all three are in separate bathrooms. Each equipped with either windows or vents. With a can of air freshener a bottle of Poo-Pourri in all. The belt and suspenders of not having someone else smell your brand. In all those years, we've never once been in the same bathroom while the other was taking a whizz. I'm not even allowed to go No. 1 with the door open, which is unfairly characterized as 'gross" and something "nobody wants to see." Dropping deuces next to each other? That's absolutely out of the question. You'd almost think that squeezing out a Finless Brownfish in front of your soulmate is a disgusting, smelly act best kept to yourself. But true love can not only overcome it, but make it into something to be shared. A bond. A precious gift and a symbol of your love and fidelity.
So I'm asking myself what I'll ask every couple reading this: Can you really claim to be in a committed relationship if you're hiding this bit of intimacy from your loved one? To be there holding hands while your life partner releases a Sewer Trout? Gaze lovingly into their eyes as it hits the water? Be there for them as they check the bowl and wipe? I say, no. It's all about that ass, 'bout the ass, 'bout the ass. And until we all get Love Toilets installed, none of us can really say we are in a loving marriage.
[H/T to Barstool legend @UncleBuck617]