The Future Of Male Birth Control Is Here And All You Have To Do Is Steep Your Balls Like Tea

Designed by German design graduate Rebecca Weiss, the male contraceptive device called Coso uses ultrasound waves to temporarily halt sperm regeneration. To use the device, which is still a theoretical prototype, Coso users would fill the cup-like device with water, which will be heated to “operating temperature,” per the Dyson Award website. The user then “spreads his legs and sits down to place the testicles in the device. The ultrasound process continues for a few minutes.”

Condoms...hard pass

Take a pill every day that gives you side effects? That shit is for the birds (British slang only)

A vasectomy? Well that is supposed to be permanent 

You're telling me that all I need to do in order to shoot infinite blanks until I'm ready to pass my impeccable hair genes to the next generation is ease my boys into a nice warm bath and then nuke them with sound waves? What could go wrong?! Sign me up. A birth control that even the Catholics can get down with. 

Just kidding. This sounds like a HORRENDOUS idea. I mean read this passage

While dunking your balls in hot water like a couple of teabags may not sound like the most pleasant experience, you wouldn’t actually be submerging your testes in scalding water. Rather, the device uses ultrasound waves to “heat up your balls from the inside,”

I mean who in their right mind would volunteer for the FDA trials for this thing that cooks their balls from the inside? I mean I hate the heat. I am sure my guys do too. You get them over 100 degrees and they're never coming back. I don't care what these mad scientists say. People are going way out of their way to solve a problem that doesn't really need to exist. Just be careful. And by be careful I mean pull out. Doesn't work every time, but if it is working every time you probably don't need to microwave your balls anyways. They're not exactly Michael Phelps if that is the case. Just sit back. Keep your balls at a normal temperature and deal with whatever consequences come about.