Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 2 | No One is Safe With Survival at StakeWATCH NOW

Kristina Makushenko Is The World's Greatest Athlete

My brain doesn't understand a single, solitary component of this video. Not a second of it. I've seen choreographed dance routines (not to brag). I've seen pools. I've been in pools, even so far as gone underwater in those pools. Completely submerged, the whole thing. And I can't make heads of tails of being able to move like this. Kristina here may well be part Sea Monster after studying this tape for the better part of the last 18 hours. I've watched a lot of Disney/Pixar's "Luca" recently, Sea Monster is not a derogatory term. They're friendly fellas it turns out. Anyways.

I don't see any other reasonable explanation for that kind of breath control. That ability to walk on the floor of the pool, completely canceling out any semblance of buoyancy. It's like the reverse of canceling out gravity. I don't know if that sentence makes sense but it does in my brain. Is this how the world felt the first time Michael Jackson did the Moonwalk? Or the first time MTV premiered Jamiroquai's "Virtual Insanity" video? Because to say I'm awestruck would be putting it extremely lightly. I know this wasn't an Olympic event but I still feel she deserves a baker's dozen gold medals for this performance.