The Giant Basketball Robot Returned During Team USA's Game And It Turns Out He's Nothing But A Fraud Who Just Stinks

Nobody was a bigger cock of the walk than this robot over the weekend. He was the talk of the Internet even more than Evan Fournier beating Team USA. 7-feet tall, draining shots all over the place. He terrified me! 

But like everything else in basketball, we got to the bottom of this. This robot is nothing but a fraud, a phony, a fake and a cheater. Sound familiar? No, not Trysta guys. I'm talking about Kristaps. A giant person draining shots that fooled all of us? That's Kristaps. Put this robot in the corner and watch him sink under pressure like that giant Latvian bitch. Slow ass release that cracks under pressure? KRISTAPS! 

And hand up, I'll take some blame here overreacting to the robot making some shots during game 1. Robots terrify me. I don't trust them one iota. But now? I'm not scared anymore. That first game was simply luck for the robot. He showed his true colors this morning and that's a bum who can't show up when the lights were on. He tries to sneak up on you and once you pay attention to him you see all their faults. Bet this dumbass robot can't even dribble. No way he can stay in front of me defensively. Try to close out on me on the perimeter and see what happens, giant robot idiot.