It Doesn't Matter How Great Your Job Is, The Monday After A Long Vacation Is Always Going To Be Cripplingly Difficult

I've seen a lot of debate on the internet over the years about which Monday is the worst Monday ever. Monday after the Super Bowl gets a lot of play, as does the Monday after Labor Day. I think the worst Monday is much more general than this - the Monday after a week-long vacation.

Barstool Sports was off all last week. I can't remember the last time in my job history where I truly had a full week off - I've always worked from home, answered emails, took calls while on vaca in the past. I'm an anxious person, I get nervous to fall behind on shit or hold people up from doing their own work. But this time? Everyone I know was chillin' in the sunshine and making the most of their days to themselves. I, personally, spent the entire week at the Jersey Shore, where SPOILER I won a beach house for the month of July on Barstool Vs America.

Let me give you a little rundown of what my schedule had been the past week:

1. Wake up around 8/9, with full energy for no reason. Go to the beach for a few minutes, check out the scene. 

2. Walk to get an acai bowl from the #local cafe, eat it as slowly as I wanted. 

3. Pack my beach bag, get my bathing suit on, throw my chair on my back and get over to the beach.

4. Sit on the beach with High Noons until I was too crispy to sit there anymore.

5. Get Surf taco, drink more High Noons on the porch until it was time to go to sleep.

6. Repeat

My tan right now? I'm worried the office isn't going to recognize me. My general attitude? WAY too chill for the hustle and bustle I'm about to walk into. I tried my dick off to get a job at Barstool for YEARS, and now I have it. I can't let a little time off stand in the way of my RISE AND GRIND (by noon) mentality. But, today? Today sucks already. You know why?

1. I scheduled my laundry to be picked up nice and early (7am). They cancelled the pickup.

2. I accidentally fell asleep on the couch last night. My neck is killing me.

3. My upstairs neighbors have been playing techno-pop since 7am, clearly doing a very arduous workout. I forgot they did this everyday. 

4. I was too tired last night to do my nails, so they look like garbage. Tough scene.

5. My brain hasn't turned back on all the way, so I am ignoring a LOT of text messages. People are probably getting pissed.

I love being a podcast host. I love writing blogs. I love appearing on other shows, seeing all of my coworkers (well, most, let's not get crazy) but today? I would sell my soul to be back on the beach. Absolutely mindless, worrying about nothing at all. I probably couldn't have told you my own NAME last week, let alone how many times Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker made out at the McGregor/Poirier fight. I need someone to slap a couple defibrillator paddles on my chest and yell "CLEAR" before I head to the office. 

Or maybe I'll just drink a cup of coffee today. It won't work as well, but it might be more attainable.