I Wanna Hold Your Gland

In legal jargon, there exists such a thing as a "watershed case".

I am no lawyer, but the way I understand it, a watershed case is a ruling which changes the applicability of a specific law so that all subsequent cases and rulings are resolved in the direction of that watershed ruling.

For example- If it is found that restricting one person's right to vote based solely on their gender is illegal then restricting ANYONE's right to vote due to their gender would be equally illegal.

If there is a lawyer on board, please correct me in the comments because maybe I am thinking of a "landmark case" instead, but I am too lazy to look it up.

Either way... According to my old friends over at Hard Factor, this happened over the weekend.

I'll summarize for those too lazy to read- Beatles legend Ringo Starr has dropped a legal case against the makers of a rubber cock ring called the Ring O, arguing it was too similar to his moniker and might confuse customers.

The Ring O is part of the Screaming O line of sex toys, which also includes The Swingo, The Big O, and The Primo… Collectively, this line has sold millions of individual pieces globally.

That's a LOT of rings on a LOT of cocks.

Although born Richard Starkey, the iconic drummer has used the name "Ringo" since 1962 and already owned seven associated trademarks.

During the proceedings (which started in 2019), Ring O maker Pacific Coast Holdings argued that their core audience would "not be of the generation to connect the item" with the rock icon.  And the ultimate settlement dictates that the Ring O name can only be used for adult sex toys and desensitizing sprays AND there must always be a space between the "Ring" and the "O".

Additionally, the dildo maker agreed not to "degrade, tarnish, deprecate, or disparage" Ringo's name, or link the products to him directly.

I am disappointed in Ringo.  I never pegged him to be such a fucking quitter.

A man's name (even if it just is a well-established nickname) is his own.  So when a tawdry cock ring or butt plug manufacturer tries to capitalize on it for a quick buck, that cock ring or butt plug maker should be punished, and Ringo's success could've been a watershed event for others who have had their name similarly stolen.

Why do I care so much?…

First off, the color of this monstrosity is the perfect mixture of shit-brown and blood-red… How apropos.

And secondly, to the people who make The Destructor Butt Plug, Large… Cease and fucking desist IMMEDIATELY!  

I'm no Ringo.

Take a report.

-Large

Other titles considered for this blog…

Here Comes The Cum

Gotta Get You into My Wife

We Can Crank One Out

Purple Submarine

Beatle-Juice

Cum Together

TAR

-L