Nikola Jokic Was Born To Be A Hockey Player
Dustin Bradford. Getty Images.Could you imagine if Nikola Jokic played a real sport? A game which wouldn't be so incredibly soft to send its league MVP off the floor to end his season just because he barely grazed a guy's face while attempting to make a defensive play?
One of Jokic's forearm hairs may have slightly whistled by Cam Payne's face and he's rolling around on the ground like he just got shot by a bazooka. This is a sport that rewards guys for being softer than some 2-ply Charmin and I just feel terrible for Jokic that he's stuck playing it. As an Eastern European, it's just a real shame that Jokic didn't get a pair of ice skates on his feet at an early age. Because if he was a hockey player, that would have been considered a highlight reel defensive play. Nothing even close to being worthy of an ejection. But the NBA has guidance counselors as refs. Guys who are just out there protecting these players' feelings. And if Jokic was being a big meanie to Payne, well then they have to put him in timeout.
And for a guy whose last name is Payne, he sure as shit can't take any. Imagine showing him the video of Jamahal Hill still fighting in the UFC despite his arm clearly being completely snapped in half? He'd ask the doctor to just pull the plug.
So yeah, I just feel for Jokic. He clearly should have been a hockey player, or even a lacrosse player where smacking a dude in the face with your giant stick just gets you 1 minute in the penalty box. Maybe next time the Avalanche have to go another 8 games without Nazem Kadri because he went and got himself suspended again, they can just toss Jokic out there to wreak some havoc. He clearly has it in him.