Video: It's Not Really a Beach Day Until Your Floatie is Encircled by 7 Huge Hammerhead Sharks

The Sun -  THIS is the terrifying moment a group of sharks circled beachgoers - with one lurking underneath someone's raft.

Lacey Faciane, Casie Thompson, and Qyuston Eubanks said they were relaxing on a float when they too saw the nearby animals. ...

Mostly everyone was excited to spot the sharks, except for Eubanks.

"I was like, 'Lord protect us! If it's time for us to go, it's time for us to go. Just protect us,” Eubanks said.

On the other hand, Faciane said seeing the group of sharks was "an awesome experience."

With all due respect to Lacey, Casie and Qyuston (sp?), that was neither divine providence nor awesome. It was pure, unadulterated dumb luck that you didn't spend the first week of summer being turned into shark dung and being re-eaten by bottom feeders on the ocean floor. Granted, in the same situation I might have prayed for help too. But I'd do so knowing that if the Good Lord didn't want us to be eaten by sharks, He wouldn't have invented them or made us delicious. 

So it's a million to one shot that they made it back to shore in one piece. Seven million to one really, given the number of sharks. Especially since we're talking about hammerheads. I'm no Matt Hooper from the Oceanographic Institute, but I do know that hammerheads are the laughinstocks of the shark community. Not because they're not dangerous. They are. But just because they're so ridiculous looking. You just know that going through life with their eyes way outside their bodies on either end of a preposterous, construction tool-shaped head makes them a target for other sharks. So they're constantly getting bullied by the Great Whites, Makos and Tigers at school. (I'm not going to pretend that pun was unintentional.) And with seven emotionally and psychologically damaged hammerheads in the group, all it takes is one to decide he needs to prove he's nobody's victim by taking out a floatie filled with humans in right front of everybody.

So if I ever find myself in this situation, I'm going to do what I have to in order to survive. One of my friends on that raft is going overboard. I might go "Eeny Meany" to make it fair. Or, if there's a decided weight advantage, kick the biggest one into the drink. But someone's going to have to be sacrificed for the greater good. As Spock said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one." Especially when that many consists partly of me. 

But then, I'll never be in that situation. One, because men don't share beach floats with one another. And two, because my days of floating in the ocean on anything that doesn't have a reinforced fiberglass hull between me and these relentless, ravenous, murder submarines are over. 

I just wish that Alex P. Kintner could've been so lucky. RIP.