A Fan Ran Onto The Field At A Minor League Baseball Game To Square Up With The Pitcher

America's new favorite sport, interacting with professional athletes, has its most recent contestant. Buddy in a targeted Facebook ad t-shirt and some Walmart jorts advanced the deepest into enemy(?) territory before freezing in his stupid fucking tracks. What are we doing here, pal? You asking him to the spring formal? I get he buzzed your guy, hit him on the inside of the shoulder, you want to protect the hometown team, but I promise you baseball has this figured out already. During the next half-inning, your pitcher will simply groove a 90 MPH heater into the ribcage of the opposing team's best hitter. That's been baseball's yellow handshake emoji for over 100 years now, no need to get in a tizzy and spend a night in the clink over some inside cheddar. 

BUT, if you are going to get into a tizzy, you better have a fucking plan better than the deer in the headlights. From the looks of this pitcher's reaction time he is either extremely nearsighted OR this man is faster than the Flash and got from his seat to the mound in breakneck speed. You get over the wall, onto the grass, and within arm's reach of the pitcher you have to have a better plan than "stand still and get pancaked by the third baseman." I don't know what plan I would have preferred him to have other than "stay in his fucking seat" but once he got inside the chalk he can't just stand there and await a leveling. If we're not going to be better human beings we need to at least be more creative than idling like a Tekken character in the load screen.