Home Improvement 101: Because You Might Need Help Completing Your Next DIY Project...

We purchased our 40' x 24' split entry ranch in January of 1987, it was supposed to be a starter home. We looked in four towns and it was the cheapest house we could find and what we could afford. The house was the product of a divorce and by the time we looked at it, there was only one person still living in it, the 20-year-old son. There was a beat-up, faded black 1974 Grand Prix parked on the dead grass in the side yard, just beyond the driveway. Once inside, we saw that the refrigerator door was frozen open and several pots on the stove were full of burnt food. The kid was home and sitting in an armchair between the living room and the dining room. He looked pale and hungover. (We knew he wasn't much of a cook...) I didn't want the house, it looked like a warzone and every room needed attention. There was a rotted screen porch falling off the back and a yard full of overgrown grass and weeds... We made an offer and 34 years later, after raising three boys and renovating every room in the house, some more than once, my wife and I are still living here.

Somewhere along the way, it became our home and a couple of years ago when we had an opportunity to sell and get into a maintenance-free condo, we couldn't pull the trigger. There are just too many great memories here and our boys still enjoy coming back to the house they grew up in, which means a lot to me. I never had that...

Memories like the time we rented a pony for Mike's 2nd Birthday (1990). He wanted to keep it…

Over the years we've replaced a lot. There've been 4 air conditioners, 3 gas stoves, 3 refrigerators, 3 dishwashers, 4 water heaters, 5 toilets (2 bathrooms), 3 front doors, 3 sliders, 3 microwaves, 3 roofs, 2 bulkheads, 2 driveways, and 2 septic systems. The exterior of the house was painted twice before we had it vinyl-sided a couple of years ago. (Yuk! not a big fan of vinyl)

After having a deck for 30 years, we removed it and had a sunroom and a new deck built that because of Covid, took almost two years to finish. 

Recently, other things have started to go. Our 30-year-old stockade fence that goes down one side of my property (160') has been rotting the last few years and it was just replaced. We lost three trees during a storm a few years back and we're removing 4 more, two that are rotted and dangerously close to the house. It never ends!

When my wife ran a home daycare for 10 years beginning in 1989, we had a huge sandbox, swings, a rope ladder, a slide, and a treeless treehouse in the side yard. At around the same time I built a 12' x 10' shed for tools, a lawnmower, a wheelbarrow, spreaders, lawn chairs, and all my plumbing parts. It was my first addition to the yard and although it took me a while to complete, it was a lot of fun to build and it worked out well. I wanted to keep the floor of the shed 18" off the ground but didn't want the ramp to go too far into the play area, so I made it pretty steep. Probably not my best decision…

Up on the roof installing the shingles and letting out a loud roar! Hey, I was a "basement plumber" and here I was 12' off the ground thinking I was "King Shit"!

I removed the sandbox when I built a second shed for my motorcycle in 2009. It's attached to the first one and the 2" x 6" PT ramp is not very steep at all making it easy to roll the bike in and out. At one point when the kids were gone, we removed the swings, hung a two-person cedar swing, and officially became empty nesters. Then in April of 2020, our grandson was born. And now that he's a year old, we decided to freshen up the swing set and hang a child swing for him, which he's thoroughly enjoying. It's the same swing set Nick, his father, swung on.

The ramp on the original shed was built using 3/4" PT plywood, and it did well, but over the last 3 years it started to delaminate and became a safety hazard. It was definitely time to replace it.

The original framing was built for 3/4" PT plywood and it lasted almost 31 years… The older PT lumber was treated with chromated copper arsenate (CCA), which contained arsenic. It was rated for 30 years and even underground it didn't rot. After it was determined to cause cancer in humans, in 2002 the EPA and lumber producers agreed to phase it out, and by 2004 it was no longer allowed in residential construction. Instead of CCA, they began pressure-treating lumber with alkaline copper quat (ACQ), and a majority of public playgrounds built with CCA treated lumber were removed and rebuilt using safer materials…

When I built the ramp in 1989, I used 3.5" ring nails because of their superior gripping power. Saturday I pulled them out and they proved very difficult to remove. I had to snap a few stubborn ones that didn't want to cooperate. Once the ramp was stripped it was time to choose the new surface material. Because of how I originally built it, I was limited to a thickness of 3/4". The finished ramp is approximately a 5.5' square.

I could have used 3/4" PT plywood again, but at the current price of $70 a sheet, and needing two sheets to get it done, it wasn't the cheapest way to go, and there would've been a lot of waste. And, the plywood was slippery when wet/damp and the rungs I installed to help avoid slip 'n falls, became a bumpy road for the mower and collected rain and snow. I decided to use 1" x 6" x 6' PT boards. They were available at Lowe's, Home Depot only had eight-footers. The online inventory showed 144 pieces at the Lowes in West Bridgewater, so Saturday night my wife and I headed over to pick 'em up…

Alex Wong. Getty Images.

Our big Saturday night out was spent at Lowe's in West Bridgewater…

I hate asking for help until I need it and my wife kept urging me (okay, nagging me) to ask for help. I had to get tough and tell her I've been going to lumberyards and home centers for years and I do things a certain way and that I wasn't going to ask for help until I was sure I couldn't find what I was looking for. Stubborn? Maybe…

Well, when there were no six-footers anywhere to be found I went to the contractor's desk and asked for help. My wife had a big smile on her face like she just won the lottery. Okay, I needed some help… The kid at the register said they didn't have any six-footers but after we showed him where it said online there were 144 pieces in current inventory, he reconsidered and told us they were by the emergency door at the back of the store. I had already looked in that spot and I knew they weren't there, but we went back to see if maybe I missed 'em. I hadn't. There were none. There were a dozen twisted, moldy eight-footers and close to 150 twelve-footers, but no six-footers. I was forced to buy twelves and so I started flipping through the boards. I only needed six…

I must've flipped at least 100 boards to get the 6 halfway decent ones I needed…

The lumber was horrible! The ends were split, some as much as 6" in, and the boards were full of knots. And, not just regular knots, the kind I call "jumpers"; after just a few days they become knot holes. I flipped and flipped and my wife grew impatient and wanted to leave, but I assured her I'd find six useable pieces, and I did, just barely. It's hit or miss when you're shopping for lumber, sometimes the lumber is good, sometimes it's not so good, and sometimes it's just shit. That's why I never let anyone pick my lumber and then deliver it. That's usually when Lumber Yards and Home Centers get rid of all their shit and then you have to battle with them over returns. I'd rather spend the time and pick through it myself. Flipping lumber isn't a lot of fun, it is time-consuming, but there is no other way to do it, IMO. The total cost for 6 - 1" x 6" x 12' PT boards and a 1 lb.box of 2 1/2" coated deck screws, was $73.70 including sales tax.

I was hoping to get six-footers because they might be straighter than twelve's and they would easily fit inside my truck's six-foot bed and cap. I can fit twelve's, but I have to open the sliding windows in the cap and cab, and send the boards through and rest them on the dashboard against the windshield, and then drive home with the cap door fully open. This was not my first rodeo but it was my wife's, and she never thought they'd fit in my truck. Well, I got the twelve-footers loaded, home, and stacked by 9:30.

I built the original shed with this Makita chop saw & it's still going strong…

The shed side of my house gets a lot of sun and it gets pretty fuckin' hot by mid-day. Sunday morning I set up my chop saw, table saw, and started making noise by 9:30… Not every board was perfectly straight or of uniform width, but I knew I had the best six pieces Lowe's had to offer and I was intent on making them work, no looking back. The first piece had to be beveled slightly so it would fit tightly against the floor of the shed. It was the first cut I made on my new Skil table saw and it was perfect. Then I started cutting and screwing the boards, ringside down/barkside up, using the coated deck screws. The lumber was wet and I used skinny nails to space the boards knowing that once they were dry they were gonna shrink quite a bit more.

The only other board I had to rip was the last one, closest to the paving. The Skil table saw worked well and I ripped a 1 3/4" strip to finish the ramp. It looks great and it's sturdy. I ordered a quart of clear, non-slip wood coating on Amazon and once the boards dry out completely I'll apply it. I once slipped and fell pretty hard coming down the old ramp…

A job's not done until the cleanup is complete and I clean up as I go to minimize the mess at the end when I'm tired. I cut up all the old plywood, wrapped up the cord, put away all my tools, and swept up. This soon-to-be 65-year-old was probably a little dehydrated and had enough for one day. Once inside, I immediately started recharging the batteries to my cordless Milwaukee M18 tools (drill, driver, and Hackzall) because I know my next DIY home improvement project is just around the corner…

The ramp looks good and if it lasts another 30 years, well, it'll no longer be my problem…