In This Episode Of Australia Is The Scariest Place In The World: It's RAINING MICE As The Country Is Battling A 'Rodent Plague'

[Source] - Pressure is being mounted on the NSW government for support as farmers fear losing their entire crops at the hands of the mouse invasion, reports news.com.au, which has raged on for weeks on end.

Authorities are battling to contain swarms of mice wreaking havoc in the region, as the rodents leave mountains of poo on shop floors and even bite hospital patients.

Nope, nope, nope. Listen, Australia has a bunch of hot people, famous landmarks and beaches. Seems like a great time. But every single week there seems to be some sort of crazy ass terrifying thing happening. It's a whole different world down under and something that will keep me away. That and the 20 hour flight or whatever it is to get there. I'm not even scared of flying, I just can't imagine sitting in a metal tube that high in the air for that long. My back's too bad and I'd get too bored. 

I'm in the middle of selling my soul and moving to the suburbs. The last place I want to end up is somewhere where it's RAINING MICE. I just spent a week in New York (watch The Dozen), I saw mice running around. Not for me. 

Those little fuckers just running around, worried about them running up your jeans. Nope. No thank you. Keep my legs safe and just worry about a neighbor building a fence too close to my yard. Australia is fucking terrifying. This feels like a win though for Australia. Raining mice? Just stay inside and put up traps everywhere. Typically I feel like we see some sort of venomous, gigantic scary animal running around loose. 

The difference here though is a rodent plague fucks with you mentally. Looking up and seeing it rain mice and then a million mice running around, you gotta worry about food. You gotta worry about each step you take. Probably terrifying to get into bed or sleep at night. It's mental warfare.  I don't even think this plan from Chicago would work: 

I like the way they think here, but what are cats going to do when it's raining mice? Seems like you just end up with a cat and mouse problem then. I also just don't trust cats. Don't trust them one bit. Mice would outsmart them, I'm sure of it. Now if you don't mind me I'm going to eat some shitty chili on coney dogs today and not move to Australia.