Putin Further Cements Himself As The Greatest Lamp Lighter In The World After Another 8 Goal Performance
Everybody is losing their mind over Connor McDavid putting up over 100 points in this condensed 56-game season. The entire hockey world was collectively shitting themselves over the idea that Auston Matthews could potentially score 50 goals in 56 games. Big whoop. Meanwhile, we've got big Vladdy Putes putting on a masterclass out there and lighting the lamp 8 times while leading his team to a 13-9 victory.
Darryl Sittler once scored 6 goals in a single game for the Toronto Maple Leafs back in 1976 against Boston. The NHL record for most goals scored in a single game was set by Joe Malone back in 1920 when he had a 7-tuck performance for the Quebec Bulldogs. That's over 100 years ago at this point and nobody else has been able to even come close over the past 30-40 years. Meanwhile we've got 68-year-old Vladimir Putin still putting up 8 in a single game. He's done it time and again, year after year. What a stallion.
And I'm sick of hearing people complain about how nobody is actually playing defense against him since they're afraid to face the wrath of the KGB. Elite goal scorers always know the right spot to be on the ice at the right time. Vlad-O knows to park his ass in front of the net and stuff it home like the best of them.
He may not have the wheels that he used to in his glory days. He may not have the hands he had during his prime. But a great goal scorer never loses their goal scoring touch, and that high level hockey IQ to always be in the right spot. The game and the puck just seem to find them. Gordie had it. Wayne had it. Vladdy has it.
Sidenote: I know he's an awful guy and everything but I'd love to get out on the ice with Putin one of these days. Imagine how nice it would be to rack up all those assists. I feel like if you hook Putin up with at least 3 apples, you're a made man for life in Russia after that. I'd snap so many tape-to-tape cross ice feeds to 11 in the slot. Stat game.