No Offense To Moms, Boxing (The Sport) or Chinese Rockets, But Nobody Had A Better Weekend Than Miller Lite

Carl5/10/2021 2:10 PM

Alright obviously I love an ice cold great tasting less filling 96 calorie Miller Lite. Everybody in the neighborhood knows that’s the god’s honest truth. A lot of that has to do with them being the title sponsor of Red Line Radio but even more with my near lifelong affinity for GTLF. It’s a perfect match that transcends the traditional advertising relationship.

Needless to say, it’s a great fucking beer. I genuinely love getting tagged and mentioned when you guys are responsibly gassing them. This is a journey. I’m committed to converting honest hardworking adults into Miller Lite loyalists and growing the movement. If you’re already with me then you already know.

For everyone else, I’m happy to inform you that Miller Lite is basically taking over the world. I’m not about to powerpoint a history lesson but you can rewind to the Last Dance when MJ was smashing Miller Lites and just start there. Not even one year later and you could argue it’s back to being America’s #1 beer (I haven’t seen the data). Don’t believe me?

How about a poolside leg drop from Hulk Hogan? Does that name ring a bell because he’s basically the coolest Dude of all time and I mean Dude. Even at a downward angle, his hand looks like it could swallow that can whole. And consider this: The Hulkster could literally be drinking anything during a nice Saturday at his pool. Mai Tais. Daquiris. Exotic liquors I haven’t even heard of. Steroids. ANTIFREEZE.

But what do you find him reaching for instead? Great Tasting Less Filling Miller Lite because he’s a goddamn genius who took down Deadspin to make the rest of us happy.

And if that’s not enough then just quick reminder MJ actually made Miller Lite the unofficial beer of NBA hall of fame superstars.

Did you see how smooth and easy Steve Nash enjoyed that beer? He can finish in traffic and he can finish before a press conference. Duel threat Miller Lite guy that’s probably going to an NBA Championship series in his first season as a head coach. Now’s about the time pressure and expectations start to really grow. And how does Coach Nash take a break from the chaos?

With a 12 ounce can of Miller Lite. Not a cosmopolitan or a white russian or mad dog 2020. No my friends. That’s the look of a man with a mini fridge filled with the good the stuff.

You know who else is filled with Miller Lite?

This guy was conceived, born, raised and abandoned on the floor of a Bud Light production facility in Newark. It’s literally all he’s ever known and then in the span of a couple weeks, the big fella with decent footwork and a soft touch from inside 12-feet has come around and seen the light. Huge addition to the culture and community we’re trying to build here: Explicit recognition that it’s the smartest thing one of the internet’s most prolific beer drinkers has ever done.

If any/all of this doesn’t remotely move your needle towards a Miller Lite then you’re probably already dead.