Live EventBarstool Sports Employees Go Head to Head in QuiplashWatch Now

New York City Is Opening The Fuck Back Up On May 19th

 

Giphy Images.

 

Restaurants? Bars?! SALONS AND BROADWAY?!?!? In the wise words of Big Ev, let's goooooooooooooo!!!!!

Look bros, it's been a shitty fucking last 15 or so months. Golly. I accomplished close to nothing in my personal life over the pandemic. Didn't travel anywhere, didn't become a millionaire, didn't get married, didn't get a dog, nuffin. It was a complete waste of a year for the most part. Partially my fault, sure. But also we didn't have hindsight when we were locked in our houses so I don't have too many regrets. 

But what I can do…nay…what WE can do, is look forward to things and not take this opened world for granted any longer. I want to see the world! I want to get a pup! Talk to a girl and MAYBE even hold her hand! There's so much out there to do, I certainly don't want to waste any more time standing in the back looking around. What I'm saying is you gotta make a move or you'll miss out. With NYC (and the rest of the world) opening the fuck back up, it's go time. 

What're we gonna do? Concerts. Bars til 3am. NHL playoffs. Banging in porta potties. I don't know, the world's our oyster! Go get your vaccine, shit, get it twice. It's so easy. You just walk in and you're like "1 vaccine please" and they literally suck your dick as you get it, that's how happy they are to give out vaccines. Yeah, it's a little Hunger Games-ish but who caresssss, your life isn't that important to begin with. 

NYC, welcome back. And I'll see you all at Pup Punk.

 

PS: How good is Jimmy Eat World? GOATed.