BREAKING: The NFL Announced When It Is Going To Announce The NFL Schedule!!!
Look at Schefty somehow scooping the guys that work for the NFL by multiple minutes!
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Look, I get that people laugh at the idea of the NFL sucking its own dick by not only announcing its schedule on live TV but also announcing when its going to announce when it will fellate itself for all to see by revealing a bunch of people's work schedules for the fall and winter. But I am more than fine with it.
You see, I recently realized that at some point, the 2021 NFL Draft has to happen, which was going to leave a huge void in my Twitter feed, ipso facto my life since I don't remember a world where we weren't talking about the same players over and over and over again. Whether that's due to old age, corona fatigue, or an alarming medical issue I have to get checked out is unknown.
However, we now have a clear transition of what to obsess over as NFL fans. We get the last bit of what feels like the longest Mock Draft SZN ever over the next week, the draft along with all the wild shit that comes with it for three whole days, Draft Grade SZN for a full week after that, Way Too Early Season Preview SZN for the following week since we finally know what every team will more or less look like come September, finally followed by the schedule release where everyone will guess their team's wins and losses using a 16 game schedule instead of a 17 game schedule. Then we chill out for a bit like a kid waiting to open his Christmas gifts before we get (hopefully some sort of) OTAs, the first Hard Knocks trailer, training camp, Hard Knocks, the preseason, and then the glorious regular season of the National Football League complete with responsible bets on the Barstool Sportsbook (DOWNLOAD TODAY!), fantasy, and not leaving your couch for 12+ hours. May 12th is truly the beginning for the rest of our lives. Okay, that seems a little extreme. But I am clearly really excited about it.
This is usually the part of the blog where I would joke about how I can't wait to hear everyone bitching that Giants-Cowboys is going to be the Week 1 Sunday Night Football game. But something tells me the Giants are going to face the Eagles after Doug Pederson turned Nate Sudfeld into a four letter word and allow that yimmer yammering mamaluke Nick Sirianni to be fed to this bad mammajamma for the sins of the guy whose job he took.
You know what? Fuck it. We deserve a nice little taste of happiness so let's listen to the Hard Knocks theme. But only one time! I'm monitoring you guys by IP Address.
Blogger's Note: Lord forgive me for using a gif associated with the Dallas Cowboys as the thumbnail for this blog but daddy needs those clicks since blogworthy content well isn't exactly overflowing during a pandemic