We Need To Have A Serious Conversation About Anthony Rizzo

I thought I had this blog scheduled for yesterday Cubs pregame. I fucked up and didn't run it. Today is an off day so we're going to circle back. I love a good circle back. 

I know the Cubs can't really buy a hit right now because The Ricketts Family ran out of money ZING. 

But can we talk about Rizzo's spikes for a second before the season heats up and I'm too pissed off to enjoy stuff like this.

Abbie Parr. Getty Images.

Alexa enhance

Abbie Parr. Getty Images.

Without a doubt the best cleats I've ever seen in my life and that's completely ignoring the Chicago flag pattern on the back. Instead I ask you to simply focus on the cartoon dog. 

Now look at Anthony Rizzo's dog, Kevin. 

Sure the Cubs aren't extending Rizzo this year but Nike sent him some custom cleats with his dog on them. You could have $100 million dollars or you could transcend major league fashion. Given a choice of one, which do you think Anthony Rizzo really cares about? Don't make me answer that question. 

Instead let's just brainstorm real quick all the cool shit you could put on your cleats/spikes. I remember having a number on the back about 15 years ago became a thing. Then they made the Nike Shox into spikes

John B. Carnett. Getty Images.

Those were probably the coolest shoes of all time if we're being honest. For $160 you could get them fitted for a baseball field too. And that was enough for guys like me. But now that we're getting fancy, I don't hate the last 4-digits of my social. Something real personal that's custom to me. Maybe some bone fragments from dead relatives for extra special good luck. Now we're talking. Now we're customizing. 

Or you could play it safe with cartoon dogs like Rizzo and then we could play it even more safe and extend the guy because he deserves to be here for 5 more years at a number that makes sense for everyone. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills saying this shit. Help me calm down by subscribing to the Barstool Chicago YouTube page and Red Line Radio on iTunes