A Bunch Of Chileans Pulled Off The Greatest Citizen's Arrest By Saran Wrapping A Thief To A Lamp Post After He Allegedly Assaulted An Elderly Man

Now this is some South American street justice I can get behind! Back when I lived a life of crime, I know that getting arrested or being beaten to a bloody pulp only had me out of the criminal underworld until I could get out of jail or the hospital. Granted that life of crime took place as I was playing Grand Theft Auto back when Rockstar actually made new versions of the game. But I still can't think of a worse fate than being Saran Wrapped to a pole. 

When my wife makes me throw plastic wrap over a bowl of chili so I don't "destroy the microwave like I've destroyed everything else in her life", I immediately break into a cold sweat knowing I am going to be wrestling with a substance more unstable than plutonium. If the slightest bit of plastic wrap overlaps, you have essentially created a rope stronger than vibranium, which is nice if you are want a rope but a nightmare if you want to simply cover some food. Luckily the good people of Chile showed us the perfect way to use Saran Wrap, which is for capital punishment since being stuck in something that only gets stronger the more you struggle like a spider's web or Chinese finger trap will straighten out even the most hopeless cause. 

While I applaud the ingenuity of these Chilean vigilantes, I do worry that there is a chance this could up becoming the origin story for a supervillain known as The Butterfly once he emerges from his plastic cocoon. If you think life was bad having a thief that steals stuff from cars and occasionally attacks the elderly, just wait until there's a masked man dressed in outrageously loud clothing with wings called the butterfly.

Oh yeah I guess someone could die in a cellophane grave. But if you aren't ready to die for your crimes, are you even a real criminal?

Obligatory clip of the Duct Tape Challenge back when Hank was an intern/cameraman/Portnoy's whipping boy that would do things like this before he became the producer of the biggest sports podcast in the world and a commissioner for a goddamn (blogger) sports league. Talk about a real life butterfly.