Hot, New Craze That Makes Me Reaaal Uncomfortable: Adults Drinking Their Coffee In Baby Bottles

Usually I'm all aboard the "you-do-you in your personal life" boat but even I have my limits, and one of those limits is grown adults acting like babies & children. Whatever raggedy, weathered, little moral compass is left in my soul points straight to 'NOT OK' in an automatic reflex. Even light-hearted stuff like folks dressing like giant babies for Halloween or New Years or some wacky parade skit makes me queasy.  

andriano_cz. Getty Images.

MARK RALSTON. Getty Images.

I don't need to roll it around in my head or put myself in those people's adult-sized Mary Janes for a while. It's just a "NO" from me, dawg. Stop it. (* Chaps has since informed me he's been a giant baby for Halloween & I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.)

So needless to say, this trend sweeping the Gulf Arab states has my cringe system on high alert:

Via the AP:

Cafes across several Gulf Arab states started selling coffee and other cold drinks in baby bottles this month, kicking off a new trend that has elicited excitement, confusion — and backlash.

The fad began at Einstein Cafe, a slick dessert chain with branches across the region, from Dubai to Kuwait to Bahrain. Instead of ordinary paper cups, the cafe, inspired by pictures of trendy-looking bottles shared on social media, decided to serve its thick milky drinks in plastic baby bottles.

Although the franchise was no newcomer to baby-themed products — a milkshake with cerelac, the rice cereal for infants, is a long-standing bestseller — the unprecedented fervor over the feeding bottles came as a bit of a shock. All the stress and anxiety over the coronavirus pandemic appears to have spurred some to find an outlet in the strange new craze.

Lines clogged Einstein stores across the Gulf. People of all ages streamed onto sidewalks, waiting for their chance to suck coffee and juice from a plastic bottle. Some patrons even brought their own baby bottles to other cafes, pleading with bewildered baristas to fill them up.

Dubai authorities cracked down. Inspection teams burst into cafes where the trend had taken off and handed out fines.

Deep down I know I shouldn't praise a government cracking down on folks enjoying coffee in baby bottles (enough people already think I love the People's Republic of China) but in this case I felt very Larry David GIF about it…

Because it seems to be a slippery slope, folks… And I know this from Kenjac highlighting the adult baby TikTok community which sent me down a rabbit hole of harrowing proportions.

Next thing you know I'm clicking hashtags with reckless abandon, learning about #littlespaces and #ABDLs - "Adult Baby Diaper Lovers". Yeah. Yep. Mmhhmmm. Check out the #ABDL hashtag on social media if you have time to kill & want to feel deep despair & look like this for several hours afterwards:

There's also "adult baby fetish nurseries" around the globe where grownups dish out big bucks to sit in giant high chairs, poop in diapers & have someone change them, play with baby toys, nap in massive cribs, etc. And if you want to dress the part there's tons of websites with items like XXL onesies & diapers, which is something else I wish I did not know. 

KB?!?!?!

Anyways, I guess this is one of those things I've stumbled so deeply into & was so disturbed by that I couldn't keep it to myself & had to share the pain of knowing. And now on top of the 'seemingly regular grownups starting to get their coffees in baby bottles' I'm starting to see TikToks stateside with folks putting sour candies in baby bottles & then filling them with monsters & such. It's only a matter of time and I am NOT here for it. 

In closing, the adult baby community might be mad at me (it's therapy for us!) but I'm hoping they fully commit to their roles & thus don't have the technology to come at me on social media. 

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get a coffee the normal way, in a dirty mug I've been lightly rinsing out with water for a week now.