This Looks Like The Worst God Damn Hotel Of All Time

Is that a serious question? Am I being April Fools'd? Would I want to stay there? Absolutely, 100% fucking not. Are you mental? Whose idea was that? Was it Jigsaw? It has to be Jigsaw because the idea of sleeping on a perch on the side of a mountain sounds like a torture chamber. Call me a pussy but hanging off the side of a mountain with nowhere to go but downwards is not my idea of relaxation. Look at it this way- NASA spends billions of dollars to build space shuttles. They get the smartest minds in the universe together. And what happens to like, 50% of space shuttles? Motherfuckers blow up. So you think I'm trusting some chains on the side of a cliff in Peru? In your dreams. Which by the way, you won't be having if you stay at that hotel. How do you sleep at night knowing you're a stiff breeze from falling to your death. It's absurd, just look at this:

LOL. Absolutely not.

And how about this broad waking up in the fakest way possible, that was just the cherry on top.

All in all I give this hotel 0 balls and may god have mercy on your soul.