Turns Out The Flyers Sucked Last Night Because Kevin Hayes Melted Everybody's Brain With This Pregame Question
Kevin. Buddy. C'mon, man. There is a time and place for those types of questions. Typically that time is when you're stoned and that place is somebody's basement. For sure not during warmies of an NHL outdoor game against a division opponent.
The Best One calls over Connor Bunnaman and Bunnaman is probably thinking that Hayes has some sort of instructional tip to share with him before the game. Maybe chop it up and talk some strategy. Get pucks deep, crash the net, that sort of thing. And just when Bunnaman thinks he's going to get some advice on the game, Hayesy hits him with this question that you know has been marinating on his mind since the last time he was deep in some shower thoughts. Considering he probably has the same shower schedule as Gritty, that could have been at least a week ago. And once Bunnaman's brain has been fried trying to wrap his mind around this question, he's clearly going to ask around as well. Before you know it, the whole squad is trying to figure out why naked and baked are spelled so similar yet pronounced so different.
And while everybody is so consumed with trying to figure out why the English language is as nonsensical as it is...
Here comes the guy who can barely speak a lick of English to score the game's first goal just 34 seconds after the puck drops.
So it's not that the Flyers are simply an inferior team to the Bruins. It's not that Carter Hart had a pretty shaky game to go along with the pretty shaky season he's had so far. It's not that this team goes through some lapses where it looks like they completely forget how to play hockey for 10-15 minutes at a time. And it's certainly not that the Flyers don't have a superstar of Pasta's caliber, and they continue to get torched by #88 this season.
It's that Kevin Hayes had everybody's brain in a pretzel before the game even started. Don't get me wrong, it's a strong question that deserves an answer. But maybe save it until the flight home next time.