Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Kevin Hart's Personal Shopper Used Kevin Hart's Credit Cards To Personally Shop For 1 MILLION DOLLARS Worth Of Watches And Paintings For Himself, Posted It All On Instagram

Kevin Mazur. Getty Images.

NYDNA New York City celebrity personal shopper swindled actor Kevin Hart out of more than $1 million in credit card purchases, Queens prosecutors said.

Long Island City resident Dylan Jason Syer, 29, used the comedian’s credit card to make over a million dollars in unauthorized charges and purchases for more than a year between October 2017 and February 2019, authorities charged Wednesday.

“The defendant thought he was beyond reach and was living out his uber-rich lifestyle fantasies. But my team uncovered the bogus purchases — from the credit card charges being processed by the bank, down to tracking FedEx packages delivered to Syer’s home and business,” Queens District Attorney Melinda Katz said in a statement.

“This should serve as a cautionary tale for everyone. Regardless of whether you are a celebrity or not, anyone can fall victim to this kind of fraud. It is paramount to keep track of your expenses, check your credit reports and diligently keep your financial information to yourself,” said Katz.

If you adjusted our net worth to scale — Kevin Hart's $200 Million vs. my….less than $200 million — I'm genuinely curious if I ever figure out my personal shopper is robbing me of $1 million dollars.  I mean I really can't imagine I notice. I'm like the single best target for fraud you could ask for. Like the dark web's wet dream candidate for new identity shopping. One of the main reasons is because I say things like that out loud on a public blog on the internet. But I'm just being honest: keeping track of my expenses, checking my credit reports, and being diligent about….well, about pretty much anything — not really hobbies of mine. 

However, if you take the absolute idiots out of the equation, you gotta scratch your head a little bit over the Queens DA Melinda Katz basically sucking her own dick over this big bust. 

“The defendant thought he was beyond reach and was living out his uber-rich lifestyle fantasies. But my team uncovered the bogus purchases — from the credit card charges being processed by the bank, down to tracking FedEx packages delivered to Syer’s home and business,” Queens District Attorney Melinda Katz said in a statement.

“This should serve as a cautionary tale for everyone. Regardless of whether you are a celebrity or not, anyone can fall victim to this kind of fraud. It is paramount to keep track of your expenses, check your credit reports and diligently keep your financial information to yourself,” said Katz.

"My team uncovered the bogus purchases…" 

I mean. I "uncovered" it too when I typed his name into Instagram and saw this posted on the page of a personal shopper:

Unless it was an absolutely incredible day at Nordstrom Rack, I don't think personal shoppers get the bag like this.  I'm sure it makes you a living, especially for people with Kevin Hart money. I just think it falls short of 5 Pateks and Sam Friedman paintings. 

"With Mr. Hart's stolen money in the defendant's bank account and at his disposal, the defendant then purchased thousands of dollars of fine art and other collectibles, and at least 5 Patek Phillipe watches valued at more than $400,000," the DA said. "Among these art and collectible purchases was a Sam Friedman painting, at least 16 Bearbrick collectible dolls, 5 KAWS collectible dolls, and two Louis Vuitton Keepall Bandouliere bags." (People)

If you don't know what Bearbricks are, they're fucking insane. Especially the KAWS ones. 

Or how about this one:

In case you're struggling with the perspective here thinking that must be a life-sized statue that goes in your front yard —

It's 30 centimeters tall. (About 12 inches).

And plastic. 

That's 196.70 per plastic centimeter. 

Buddy bought 5 of these…then 16 more. You can catch the collection of his stolen, fraud-purchased good on his public instagram!