"Super Bowl Saturday" Would Be So Much Better
Only one way to start this kind of blog
That felt good.
Moving on.
No spoilers but we draft Worst Days of the Year on Monday and rightfully so. Everyone knows this coming Monday absolutely fucking blows for so many reasons.
I've got the time so I'll list them off. Football is over. You spent the day before getting loaded and hammering finger foods. Probably wagered more than any day of the year too. Emotions run rampant on Super Bowl Sunday leading to the boldest case of scaries made available to mankind. And that's before I remind you the average Midwest windchill this weekend is below 0 while a vast percentage of the population won't receive a formal work holiday until Memorial Day, just 114 days from now. The hopelessness of life is no more ever present than it is this Monday morning. Expect it to go high on Monday's draft.
And again - let me repeat: this isn't news. I didn't educate you on newfound misery but rather set up my next point. And that is today (Saturday) before the Big Game is undeniably underrated. Nobody ever talks about Super Bowl Saturday and I don't understand. It's got the exact vibes of Christmas Eve without any of the demanding bullshit and ensuing stress. My #1 responsibility today was securing a decent local buffalo sauce and 4 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breast. Nobody expects anything from you today. The typical guilt that accompanies such a pathetic effort is nowhere to be found. I am inherently rejuvenated by society's collective and decisive agreement to not do shit today.
I'm saving my focus for tomorrow's mini wienies
You don't get a lot of these Saturdays as you age. On average maybe one every six weeks? The true ratio has fluctuated with the pandemic from extreme wants of being social to equal bouts of isolated couch time. But in the long run I'm comfortable saying we get 8-9 completely care free Saturdays a year and this one is consistently locked in that top 3. Recharge those batteries guys we're in for a big Sunday.
You know why else today is great?
This is the new unofficial response meme for every time someone tells me America is a broken country. If it sucks so bad then how come Frank is so awesome? When the history books write about glow ups in the 21st century, Frank better be on the first fucking page or else that book sucks.
Personally I've never been much for books because watching stuff is so much better. And when it comes to Stuff To Watch, hard to beat the live stream coming this weekend. Just an absolutely loaded roster of high energy personalities even if 40% of the draw are bonafide Rich Fucking Dudes. Far be it from me to posture for more of a Common Man presence in the prize pool when you look at the rest of the contestants.
Naturally I'm puling for my Chicago guys even if I don't see a dollar and will hate their guts for the rest of my life if they win. I told that to their face before they left for the weekend. Come back with all that money at the cost of indescribably immovable and unrelenting resentment.
For what it's worth, that would be extra motivation for me to win if I was in their shoes. In the always honest words of Nick Turani, I'm a tertiary relationship at best.
Can you smoke in here?
No but I can do a quick appetizer power ranking for tomorrow:
5. Wings but they have to travel well and can't be from a Domino's unless our sales team is working on a deal with Domino's for Barstool Chicago then in that case I fucking love Domino's. Just put it in my hands and let me work.
4. Nachos but they have to be good nachos. You don't get here on name alone as a nacho. You actually have to show up and play well.
3. Spinach Artichoke. I'm not a monster. I do like my greens.
2. Pigs in a blanket
1. Buffalo Chicken Dip
Honorable mention is pizza if you're a heathen scumbag with no ethics or morals. But I'll let it go if you get the reference. Steven Cheah can eat whatever he wants tomorrow. Except guacamole. That shit is so overrated.
Start listening to Snake Drafts if you feel out of the loop. I do my best to keep you guys in it and a lot of times that includes my food options. Playing off the power rankings, it's important I disclose that I'm making pot roast tomorrow. I know - untraditional. But I want to give myself a break. Dutch ovens bring a real Set It And Forget It attitude to the kitchen and that's exactly what I need tomorrow. Mix in a healthy side of gravy …
and you can understand why this meal plays for me. Obviously the morning and day will be filled with ham sandwiches but I owe it to you guys to be transparent about dinner. Pot Roast is the play even if that puts me on some kind of watch list.
Finally, and in conjunction with a nice cut of chuck roast, I want to close with the most recent episode of Beef House. This is our bi-weekly recap show out of Barstool Chicago about some of the stupid shit we do for this company. Win or lose I think we have some fun, but I'll leave that up to you.
Have a nice weekend. I'll be around if you guys need me.