What's A Bigger Nightmare Shit Scene: Along Came Polly or Dumb & Dumber?

It's a nightmare we've all had. 

Being around a lady or their family for the first time way before you're comfortable enough to use the restroom at all let alone take a massive shit not to mention clogging the toilet. 

Still get shivers every time. It's the kind of hell situation like when you dream that you showed up to school naked or that a shark is chasing you in water only this one is far more realistic as put on display twice famously first in 1994's 'Dumb & Dumber' then 10 years later in the comedy 'Along Came Polly'. 

I popped on 'Along Came Polly' for some easy viewing over the weekend and sometime between Ben Stiller sweating through his shirt and the toilet overflowing at Polly's I thought to myself two things: 

1. "This is a fucking nightmare"

And

2. "Which is worse? This scene or Harry's runs in 'Dumb & Dumber'."

They're very similar. First night out together. Different circumstances in terms of outcome, but still a panic filled situation all around. 

'Along Came Polly'

He brought it on himself. No matter how much you like the chick you gotta realize that if you got an IBS situation then your dietary restrictions are going to have to be top priority before you find yourself in literally a shitty situation. Sit it out. Either go and just have a drink and say "you ate beforehand" or stay with the most simple item on the menu. 

Now you're not going to turn down an invitation up to the apartment after a first date, no matter how badly ya gotta go. At the point he's at where there isn't any toilet paper then you absolutely have to come clean. 1000%. Cut your losses. Call for the girl, make up some sickness if you have to, and just be straight up. At best it's a funny story you tell about your first date at your wedding and at worst the girl knows you had an untimely naturally human bodily function after dinner. You can never EVER use any hand towels. 

'Dumb & Dumber'

Uncontrollable circumstances here. The laxative he never knew about. A toilet that doesn't work. The difference here is his meetup with Mary, at least in her eyes, was strictly a friendship. Sure, you'd have to take it on the chin for absolutely wrecking their already broken toilet, but at the end of the day I think you can laugh that one off. 

Maybe it's just Ben Stiller's masterful ability to make every situation uncomfortably awkward comedy, but I think the only answer here is clogging the toilet of the girl you're trying to make something happen with all while trying to hide it and wreck her grandmother's loofa.