While The NFL Playoffs Were Going On Kevin Durant Was Out Here Wondering How Godzilla Is Going To Lose To King Kong
While all of us fools were zeroed in on the NFL's conference championship games yesterday, Kevin Durant was in the lab trying to figure out how King Kong could take down the mighty Godzilla based on the trailer that dropped yesterday. We're talking the battle for supremacy on this planet, who cares about a football game? KD has witnessed first hand overwhelming favorites crumble to inferior opponents but Godzilla vs. Kong was something he could not process.
Excellent point by Durant to start this off. This war taking place in the ocean is basically anyone playing Rafa Nadal on clay. Not even worth watching. Doesn't even make it past a minute. I feel like this image follows that early battle after Zilla showed up. Kong would learn from this moment to take that monster on land moving forward.
KD continues…
Not to correct Durant here, but Godzilla has actually been at it for a little long than a century. Try 250 million years. This behemoth comes up to fight every few million years when shit is popping off, handles the troublemakers, and then goes back down to his hollow earth sanctuary where he rejuvenates with all of the radiation known to man. You think Kawhii not playing in back to backs was bad? Silver would quit out of insanity if Godzilla was in the league. That being said, when he comes up to the surface to play it's an auto W.
The Godzilla vs. Kong debate always falls back on one part…
This motherfucker spits out atomic blue fire. ATOMIC BLUE FIRE. It's estimated to be 500,000 degrees Celsius. King Kong is just a giant ape. It's in comparison to the classic Batman vs. Superman battle, except not quite. Batman is a normal human being, a super rich one at that. Superman is an alien with the ability to fly, be faster than a bullet, superhuman strength, and spew lasers out of his eyes. How could Batman handle Superman you ask? Kryptonite for starters and the realization their moms have the same first name! In this situation there is no Godzilla kryptonite and the two monsters cannot understand each other. So now what?
The answer is Godzilla in a beat down, but if we're going to play devil's advocate for a second for the sake of the blog… KD is curious about Kong's height and how they made them similar size. Very valid question.
It's been quite some time since we saw Kong in his Skull Island movie. In that time he found his way into the Hollow Earth tunnels that Godzilla has frequently used over his life. This allows all the monsters to travel around the Earth much quicker than via the surface. Instead of traveling around the world to go from pole to pole, why not travel through it? The Hollow Earth also gives way to a fuck ton of radiation. That radiation made Kong gigantic for this movie and allowed the tale of the tape to be a bit more believable.
Now that they're similar heights, remember that Kong is an agile, athletic, intelligent beast. He can move at a fast rates, jump to incredible heights, and use his arms to handle weapons. The big weapon in this one will be his trusty axe that you see in the trailer.
How is this magic axe stopping Godzilla's atomic breath? I believe part of the axe is made from a spike out of Godzilla or one of his ancestors. This absorbs the fire and gives Kong a chance to battle back. Certainly will make for a helluva fight scene that's for sure.
This all being said, it's Godzilla in two, maybe three. You know why?
NUCLEAR GODZILLA! I don't care what movement you've got going on. I don't care how high you can jump. How smart you are. What axe you have. You can't stop Godzilla when he decides to become a walking nuclear bomb. You know the ol' best defense beats the best offense scheme? Yeah throw that out the window when Godzilla decides to go with this play. 250 million + years and no one has found a way to stop it. King Ghidorah tried dropping him 50,000 feet out of the sky and didn't come close to working. 5 minutes later he was engulfed in flames and incinerated. You thought Saban dominating the SEC was impressive? Mariano throwing the same pitch for 20 years was cool? Godzilla has literally never lost because at the end of the day he can do this if he feels he has to. He tries to be respectable about his bouts for as long as he can, giving you the belief you can win, but the moment he sees things going sideways the game just ends with this move.
Game. Over. Don't give me any of this King Kong nonsense. He may mess around with him for a bit, but at the end of the day Godzilla is the King of the Monsters. Kong can go rule Skull Island, but this world is Godzilla's and no one else's. Good use of Twitter, Mr. Durant.
P.S. No one tell KD that these two won't be fighting each other by the end of the movie