Are Instagram Meme Commenters The Worst People On Earth?

-If I could eliminate any group of people from Earth, it would be Instagram meme commenters. “Who else high af right now?” Generic, unfunny jokes. Constant comments about how depressing life is trying to use mental health for cloud. Just despicable losers. After getting rid of them, I’d set my sights on terrorists. 

-When I get added to someone’s close friends list on Instagram, it does make me feel special, but I like to know just how special I should feel. So I will often ask them how many people are on the list and who else is on it to just see just how exclusive it is. Ironically enough, if I wasn't this way, I probably would be on more people's close friends list. 

-Possible rap lyric pitch: Let me know your thoughts. Something like “my girl make my lunch, that’s homemade. Your girl make your lunch, that shit hoe made.” It implies that my girl is wifey material, while my hypothetical rival’s girl is “for the streets” as they say. 

-I have a very specific schedule for when I want the lights on in my apartment. I don’t put them on during the day because there’s daylight so it’s unnecessary. Then, when the sun’s setting and it gets darker, I put them on for a bit. But after a few hours pass and it’s officially dark, I turn them all off since it’s nighttime anyway. And that’s talking lights. 

-It’s sad knowing that I’ll never again in my life experience the excitement of the last day of school. The excitement in the morning, the fun of that day, that feeling of freedom when the bell rings. We will never experience that again. Enjoy it while you can kids. 

-In retrospect, it’s weird that we consider “Hangman” a game for children when the very concept of the game is that if you lose, you are responsible for a man hanging to his death. 

-I wonder if anyone has ever choked to death on a Lifesaver. Would be pretty ironic!

-I think the biggest single number jump among the 9 digits is 6 to 7. 27 seems a lot older than 26. 70,000 followers seems like more than 60,000. 6 feels like the middle. 7 feels like you’re basically at 10. 

-As you may have noticed, I missed Thoughts last week because I wasn’t feeling well. And while I did get some messages asking me about it, I would’ve liked even more. Next time I miss a week, I want basically everyone in the world to be DMing me and asking if I’m alright. I may pull a Hugh Freeze and purposely not do a week just to see the reaction.

Thank you for your time.