I Can't Believe How Rich Trevor Noah Is AND HE'S BANGING MINKA KELLY TOO?????????

I want to start this blog by saying I'm not "hating". I don't hate. If you have money like that, good for you, I could not be happier for you. But my point is I didn't realize Trevor Noah had money LIKE THAT. I didn't realize Trevor Noah had $27.5 million mansion money. That's Kardashian money. That's Portnoy money. (Side note: Imagine if "Portnoy money" stuck and became an actual saying?). And apparently it's also Noah money.

WAIT, LIVE IN-BLOG REACTION. I CLICKED THE TMZ LINK ABOVE, AND TURNS OUT HE BOUGHT THAT HOUSE BECAUSE HE'S BANGING MINKA KELLY???? WHATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?

TMZ - Trevor Noah's stepping up his game in a big way with his new digs ... as things with Minka Kelly are apparently kicking up a notch as well.

'The Daily Show' host has upgraded mansions in super swanky Bel-Air, dropping $27.5 million on an 11,000 sq. ft masterpiece of a hillside home ... and he closed the deal late in 2020.

Noah bought the 6-bed, 11-bath home from L.A. architect Mark Rios. Along with a spacious room and an abundance of natural light ... the mansion comes with an office, library, elevator, gym, spa, steam room, game room and a movie theater leading to a rooftop terrace.

I am FLOORED. Does Trevor Noah have the greatest life of all time? Look, again I'm not meaning to be a h8er, but I've never met a Trevor Noah fan. Ever. I get he's the host of the Daily Show. But Jon Stewart has fans, legions of fans. People would drop what they were doing to watch the Daily Show every night. The last time I watched Trevor Noah's Daily Show was the first episode. I'll give it a try every now and again, but it's just...blah. But apparently that "blah" can make you $16 million a year from Comedy Central, and another $12 million in side gigs (stand up, Netflix, books, etc). Dude is LOADED. And he landed Minka Kelly? I don't think I've ever been more envious of someone in my life.

Maybe there's something I'm missing about Trevor Noah. It's not that I think he completely sucks, I just look around and wonder how he's a "$27.5 million house" man. AND MINKA KELLY. DO NOT FORGET MINKA KELLY.

I think maybe I'm a Trevor Noah fan now? He's won. My hat off to him. He has absolutely won.